Originally Published by Charlotte on Ruckus Girl
The sight of those soiled jeans gave me a flashback to my own bathroom accident moment. A time when all my efforts to avoid having to go were in vain. I had waited too long. I peed myself. In school.
What triggered my flashback?
This past Monday, I went to my girls’ elementary school for parent teacher meetings.
Daughter No. 4 (grade 1) took part in a live teaching demonstration.
During the class demo, one student suddenly raised his hand and vigorously wiggled it to get the teacher’s attention.
He said he need to use the restroom and was told to go.
Something about this kid’s beet red face indicated that there was something else going on.
Then, he stood up.
And there it was. A large dark area in a certain region of his jeans.
Luckily he was in the last row and only parents could see the evidence.
The situation was discreetly taken care of.
I can sympathize with this kid.
Bathroom Accident Story circa 1988
I have endured the embarrassment of a bathroom accident at school as well.
There are some subtle differences between this kid and my own experience.
Foremost, I was a wee bit older than this first grader.
Oh I don’t know. Maybe I was in the fifth grade.
Yep. That’s right.
I peed my pants in the fifth grade.
At the sure-as-hell-should-have-known-better, double digits, age of TEN-years-old.
Questions Commonly Asked By Nobody Ever:
(1) How does a 10-year-old have a bathroom accident?
One possible answer:
I was born with a condition that causes bladder control problems.
No joke. A weak bladder is a serious condition that affects millions of people.
But in my case, it is total bullshit.
It was my turn for computer time that morning. I wasn’t willing to miss a moment of it. I paid a hefty price for my technology greed.[/nextpage] [nextpage title=”Page 2″ ]
(2) What did you do after you peed yourself?
One possible answer:
I quietly fessed up to my teacher, went to the nurse’s office, called home, and asked my mom to bring me a change of clothes.
Nope. That might have been a sensible person’s response to my situation.
I lied my pissed pants off. I waited for the first period bell, and just before I walked past my teacher in the hall, I paused, and told her that someone had pushed me into a puddle at the bus stop that morning.
Yes, on that very beautiful, not a cloud in the sky day, a random asshole had pushed innocent me into a puddle. A puddle that apparently all of the neighborhood dogs had been relieving themselves in because I reeked of urine.
Bathroom Accident Bond
So, to that first grader, I say, “Hey, pee happens!”
That is why when you returned to the classroom, I averted my eyes.
That is why if someone had asked me if you had peed yourself, I would have told that person,
“I don’t know what you are talking about. Hey, look outside. Is that a puddle?”
Charlotte writes at Ruckus Girl. Content there reflects her life. Think trail mix. A salty sweet mixture that is sure to be at least a little nutty. Sometimes nice and sentimental. Other times, downright racy. Something for everyone. Trail mix — the perfect snack. Unless you have a nut allergy. That shit is serious. Follow Charlotte on Twitter and on Facebook.[/nextpage]