Parents Rejoice After Major Win Against Loud Toy Industry

By Brittany of Dirt Noise Joys

Parents were seen celebrating in the streets on Tuesday, barely containing their glee, after a major win on Capitol Hill against the Loud Toy Industry (LTI).

The spectacle was a result of a long, arduous battle between concerned parents and the LTI. The LTI was accused of predatory manufacturing practices that encouraged gifting unsuspecting parents with toys that could not be turned off.

After months of lobbying and waiting for congress to be in session again, the decisive parental victory was announced late Tuesday morning. LTI will now be required to manufacture off switches on every single toy that is produced and reduce the amount of noise making toys by 50%.

We went down to the celebrating parents and asked their thoughts on this ruling:

A mom, who asked to remain anonymous, was observed celebrating with a screwdriver (the vodka kind). “I’m just so ecstatic right now. *hiccup* I never thought I would live to see this day. After receiving numerous gifts for my son Waldo that had no possible way of turning off without using a phillips-head screwdriver or a hammer, I knew something had to change. This is going to have such a positive effect on our liquor bill!”

Another mom, Linda, was seen crying and stomping on an alphabet board with a Big Bird on it. “You have no idea. I just can’t tell you what this means to me. This toy would just go off in the middle of the night inexplicably. We’ve been losing sleep for months. An off switch would have saved us so many sleepless nights. This gives hope to so many other weary parents.”

The LTI did not respond to our request for comment.


About the Author

Brittany is a very tired mom growing a family of five rowdy little boys and one new baby girl in Wisconsin. She’s fluent in three languages: English, Toddler, and sarcasm. She usually starts her day with coffee and ends them with wine. You can find her blogging at Dirt Noise Joys and on Facebook and Instagram.