Nobody told me how hard parenthood would be. Sure, they tried on some level, but I didn’t get it — couldn’t get it. There was all the talk about being sleep deprived and begging for a shower, of course, but no one can truly understand how grueling those first few months […]
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My Kid Hates My Lady Blossom
It’s the truth. From the moment she sprouted her sweet lil drumstick legs she began kicking me in the cervix. In the early months it was merely an uncomfortable surprise. In the later months it would hurt so badly it would bend me over at the (area that used to […]
Dance Recitals, or Why I’m Glad I Have All Boys
I am a mother of boys. Aside from the dog, I am the only female in the whole damn house, outnumbered four to one. I deal with farting, wrestling, and peeing everywhere but in the toilet on a regular basis. And I’ve never been more thankful for anything in my […]
4 Signs You’re an Unflappable Mom
[nextpage title=”Page 1″ ] I was the stereotypical mom walking through Target with a screaming two-year-old this morning. Unlike our typical public outburst, though, which is usually followed by my shame-fueled sobbing in the parking lot, today I have RISEN ABOVE and believe I have reached a higher level of motherhood. […]
7 Side Effects of Parenting
In my experience, it takes about a year to come out of the fog that blankets one’s life after having a child. Or a second child. Or a third or fourth or fifth or however many babies one has pushed out of their woman parts. For me it was two, […]
Working Mothers, Get on the Fast Track NOW!
[nextpage title=”Page 1″ ] Working mothers, listen up! You do NOT want to run the risk that your employer looks at you as a corporate-ladder-climber with a lot of potential – that only leads to bigger paychecks and longer titles. Instead, you want to fast track it to stereotypical “working […]
How to Win at Motherhood
[nextpage title=”Page 1″ ] As eager parents hook themselves to its endless drip of contradictory advice, the Internet has managed to create a breeding ground for competitive parenting. It whispers to us about these so-called Mommy Wars, a concept some of us have bought into and perpetuated. Interpretations of […]
10 Annoying Parenting Habits
I try my best not to judge other moms. I really do. You want to let your son wear princess pajamas and a tutu to the grocery store? No problem. You want to homeschool your child because you are afraid of the influences of public school? Right on. More power […]