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Oregonians Are Pissed About Having To Pump Their Own Gas And The Internet Can’t Even

If you’re a simple lady like me who doesn’t give a second thought to climbing out of her super sweet minivan to pump her own gas, you probably weren’t aware there’s a whole population of people living amongst us that takes serious issue with getting the job done themselves.

As of January 1st, Oregon has implemented a new law allowing self-serve gas stations in rural counties and the internet can’t handle it.

KTVL CBS 10 in Medford took to Facebook, posting a poll about this new law that has since gone viral, having been shared over 60,000 times with everyone and their mother joining in the clap-battle going down in the comment section. Pop some popcorn and settle in, because this is the only entertainment you’ll need for the day.

If I lived in Oregon, upon hearing this news, I’d be pretty excited! Shackles broken – no longer reliant upon another individual for a basic task that I am more than capable of doing myself. Well, not everyone agrees.

From the fear of transients to the gas smell to not understanding how to operate the pump, discontent is growing among those not too keen on the idea of pumping their own gas.

No! Disabled, seniors, people with young children in the car need help. Not to mention getting out of your car with transients around and feeling safe too. This is a very bad idea. Grrr.

Not only do I appreciate that ‘Grrr’ at the end, but it also makes me wonder how I’ve pumped gas for the entirety of my adult-driving life and remained unscathed from the wrath of these ‘transients’ lurking in the shadows.

Let’s not forget the greatest argument of them all – the inability to do something because you don’t know how. I wonder if it would blow these people’s minds to know that this trait isn’t ingrained in our DNA, nor is this skill set magically bestowed upon us at birth.

I don’t even know HOW to pump and I am 62, native Oregonian…..I say NO THANKS! I don’t want to smell like gasoline!

Oh, and of course there’s that dreadful, scary gas smell to keep in mind.

Not a good idea, there are lots of reasons to have an attendant helping, one is they need a job too. Many people are not capable of knowing how to pump gas and the hazards of not doing it correctly. Besides I don’t want to go to work smelling of gas when I get it on my hands or clothes. I agree Very bad idea.

There even are those on the outside looking in, desperately longing to live in a place where they aren’t forced to pump their own gas.

I’m in Colorado where we are forced to pump our own gas. Because I’m worried about my children being left in the car while I stand outside of it in a skirt, I just pay the transients to pump it for me. This way we’re all safe and the transients are distracted from bothering those who are pumping their own gas.

Maybe that’s the answer. Do not fear these ‘transients,’ but instead implore their assistance in pumping our gas for us. Because after all, the struggle of wearing a skirt to pump gas is one we all feel, right?

The majority of the population couldn’t help but flood the comment section with reactions to the concerns of those who are in dire need of gas but just can’t cope with having to do it themselves.

Man. It’s like those people in infomercials who can’t perform menial tasks. ‘Do you have trouble pumping your own gas?’ *Guy grabs pump handle and sprays himself in the face* ‘Then do we have the state for YOU!

If you read the comments on here you’d think that 48 other states are total anarchies run by neglectful parents and people who hate the elderly. Your kid can sit in the car for the 3 minutes it takes you to pump gas. It’s not about safety, you’re just lazy

This common threat of transients mentioned throughout many comments leaves a lot of us scratching our heads, wondering if Oregon has a ‘transient’ problem that the rest of America doesn’t face when needing to refuel.

I know! Where do you live that you have to fight off this army of transient undead every time you get out of the car?

Others are sharing their own horrible experiences with self-serve gas stations.

One time, my dad came to Oregon and pumped his own gas. The street immediately lit on fire and he caused massive recession countrywide because he took away 20 billion jobs by pumping his own gas. I was in the back seat when brother was nabbed through the locked door by a transient creeper who raised him to be his human ottoman. My dad then tried wiping his windshield but the stuff he used turned out to be sulfuric acid. The car exploded with me in it and I died. My dad lost 3 parenting points because he was 2 feet away fueling his car when he could have had someone else do this very simple task for him.

I’ll never forget the first time I had to pump my own gas. I had to fight off a bear that was standing in front of the pump. Then, I endured a hail of bullets from enemy sniper fire while trying to swipe my card. When I pulled the pump handle from the docking station, it set off a series of booby traps, and the next thing I knew I was in my own version of Tomb Raider. Once I was done, a group of transients chased me in a tactical helicopter for miles because they wanted my tank of gas for making Nazi meth. You Oregonians had it so easy.

Thankfully, noble citizens are stepping in to offer their help in this time of need.

FEAR NOT OREGON!!! I’ve decided to move to Oregon to open a school to teach people how to pump their own gas. Short term business you say? HA! I will simply branch out and offer classes on such complicated things as: 1. Tying your own shoes. 2. Dressing yourself. 3. Operating a self checkout machine. 4. Dial your own phone. 5. Mow your own lawn. 6. Split your own firewood. 7. How to feed yourself. 8. Make your own dinner. 9. Wash, dry and fold your own laundry. (Extra charge as these are three classes taught separately) 11. Counting past 10. 12. Wiping your own butt. I understand Oregon, adulting is hard and sometimes you someone to show you how. I’m here for you.

So while most of you are focused on serious issues going on in our world, like hunger and poverty, remember there’s an intense, invisible war raging as people are fighting for their lives to stay inside their vehicles and have someone else put gas into their own cars.