Beauty/Fashion Humor News/Trending

Now You Can Spend $900 to Look Like You For Sure DGAF Anymore

If you’ve been waiting for just the dress to say, “I’ve given up on life so much, I don’t even have the energy to take the plastic wrap off my dry-cleaning before wearing,” never fear because Moschino has got you covered.

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For the bargain price of $895 and your last shred of humanity, you can be the proud owner of your very own clear dry-cleaning cape overlay. Sure, you could just as easily rip the plastic bag off those clothes you took into the cleaners in 2015 and have yet to unwrap, but that’d just be silly. Because this here clear dry-cleaning overlay is couture. Plus, it comes with a coat-hanger headband and fetching tube-sock clutch.

Full disclosure: The coat-hanger headband and tube-sock clutch are sold separately. Sorry.

This crime against humanity is sold at Browns and is described as follows:

This clear Moschino dry cleaning cape overlay dress is the only kind of laundry you’d be willing to do (for your trusty au pair takes care of that kind of stuff). This dress showcases the brand’s economical Fall/17 runway theme and features a slip-on sleeveless design made from a see-through polyester re-used ‘plastic bag’ that is printed with ‘Free pickup and delivery’ text in red and ‘We *heart* our customers’ across the top.

Oh, Moschino, you know me so well! Yes! My au pair most certainly takes care of that kind of stuff for me! *uppity laughter*

And if you think it also comes with that darling sparkly number shown on the runway model, you are incorrect. Unless you want to be arrested for indecent exposure, you’re going to have to fork over another few hundo for something equally as horrifying to wear underneath.

Impress your friends and all those lowly plebians undeservedly sucking up your precious oxygen with just how batshit fucking unstable you really are and purchase yourself one of these disasters!

Or just set a pile of money on fire. Either will do.

I don’t know about anyone else, but I can’t wait to show up to the next office party or social gathering in this get-up. Because I’m feeling as though people don’t quite grasp the extent to which my dignity and will to exist has fallen.

Ahh, rich people. They’re just like us.