Education News/Trending Parenting

NJ Teacher Tells 1st Graders Santa Isn’t Real, Parents Say, ‘Hold My Earrings’

A substitute teacher out of New Jersey apparently told a class full of first graders that Santa isn’t real, prompting parents everywhere to scream, “Hold my earrings!”

According to Patch.com, the sub, working at Cedar Hill School in Montville on Thursday, revealed this “truth” to the class after parent Lisa Simek says the sub asked “which holiday was coming up and when one student answered ‘Christmas,’ she decided to just unleash on students”:

She told them Santa isn’t real and parents just buy presents and put them under their tree. She told them reindeer can’t fly and elves are not real- elf on the shelf is just a pretend doll that your parents move around. She did not even stop there: the tooth fairy is not real because mom or dad just sneak into your room in the middle of the night and put money under your pillow, same goes for the Easter bunny. She told them magic does not exist. There is no such thing as magic anything.

This substitute sounds like she’s super fun at parties.

Listen, believe what you want and tell your own kids what you want, but come at my children with that bullshit? Are you trying to get cut?

“No such thing as magic anything,” Ms. StickInTheMud? You haven’t been hanging with the right crowd if you think that’s true. Because whether you believe Santa is real or not, sharing in the wonder his legend brings to the holidays with young and old alike is pretty magical, let me tell you.

Hell, I have known the Big Guy isn’t really real for decades, but that doesn’t stop me from feeling the magic of his presence (and his presents) on Christmas morn.

That’s because Santa IS real, in more ways than what’s tangible. He’s in our hearts, in our seasonal joy, and in the miracle of watching little eyes glint with wonder at the beauty and the camaraderie and the fellowship of the whole thing.

My husband distincly remembers when he found out Santa wasn’t real. His childhood best friend was the one to tell him. A CHILD. As it should be, really. And he’s never forgiven him.

So imagine the disappointment at learning this little nugget from an ADULT. From someone who is A) not your parent and therefore not obliged to reveal such information, and B) supposed to keep that bubble of yours intact for as long as humanly possible.

As for the school district’s response, Superintendent Dr. Rene Rovtar had this to say about Ms. KillJoy:

I am troubled and disheartened by this incident. The childhood wonder associated with all holidays and traditions is something I hold personally near and dear in my own heart.

No word on the substitute teacher’s continued employment in the district, but one can only hope somebody’s revealed there’s no such thing as future teaching gigs for Ms. PoopsInEveryonesWheaties.

Because dropping a bomb like this on sweet little children far too early and without parental permission? That’s just criminal.

(I’m kidding, I don’t know this person’s situation, it’s just a shit move is all I’m saying.)

In other news, looks like the Grinch can count on some company this year. HAHAHAHAHA, just kidding.

Not even the Grinch is that morose.