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Netflix Series ‘American Vandal’ Asks Crucial Question: Who Drew the Dicks?

In a move to both parody its own successful true crime documentaries and titillate viewers, Netflix is releasing an entire series, titled ‘American Vandal,’ devoted to answering the question that has plagued American society for ages: “Who drew the dicks?”

The series, which is reportedly airing September 15, follows the investigation into Hanover High School student Dylan Maxwell, a “known dick drawer,” after a crap ton of cars in the faculty parking lot were spray-painted with phallic images. The show incorporates all the characteristic components of popular true crime documentaries: suspenseful music, voiceovers, interviews with multiple sources close to the investigation, and various clips calling into question the prime suspect’s guilt or innocence.

The only difference? There’s no murder at the center of this documentary. Just dicks. (As if we need anything more.)

Naturally, as soon as the trailer for this series popped up in my social media newsfeed, I was hooked, not to mention left hoping against hope that this thing was actually real. Because when it comes down to it, I simply can’t live without knowing who drew all those dicks.

A quick Google search confirmed that this thing is actually happening, and not just for a single episode. It’s gonna be a whole 8-part affair.

And you guys, I CAN’T WAIT.

I may be a middle-aged mother of 3, but dicks will never not be funny to me. NEVER.

No word on whether this series is based on real life events (GOD, I hope it is), but I suppose in the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t really matter all that much. As long  as we get to the bottom of this real or imagined dick-drawing debacle, I’ll be satisfied.

Check out the trailer for this groundbreaking docu-drama below, and mark your calendars.

Did Dylan draw the dicks? Or is there a more nefarious explanation for this incident that rocked a community and changed lives forever?

Only time will tell. (Approximately one month’s time and some change, to be exact.)