By Stephanie Pappas of snackdinner

May 21 Stainless Steel Tension Rod and Shower Curtain Rings $25

Stainless steel tension rod and shower curtain rings set in like-new condition. Must sell because the baby–who can sleep through the latest Game of Thrones at top volume–will wake any time the curtain is moved. Shower curtain also available.

May 28 Red Microfiber Armchair $50

Plush microfiber chair in need of a new home. Legs can be removed from chair to fit through a narrow doorway. From a pet-free, smoke-free home, but occasionally misted by milk during three months of continuous pumping. Available with or without stale Triscuits between cushions.

Jun 4 IKEA MALM Queen Bed, Black $75

This IKEA MALM bed comes from a pet-free, smoke-free home. The bed is in great condition, except that its size won’t accommodate two adults and the toddler they insisted would never sleep in their bed. Casper queen mattress negotiable: firm and perfectly worn in by nights of pregnancy night sweats, spit-up, and baby urine.

Jun 11 IKEA Expedit 5×5 cube shelves, White $100

White IKEA Expedit shelves (5×5 cube) in good condition. Ikea’s uber-efficient storage solution initially seemed to offer enough room for one two-year-old’s toys, but now we are moving to a new home so the toys can have a room of their own. We will Magic Eraser the crayon marks off or leave them on if you want your furniture to build a rich patina.

Jun 18 Britax B-SAFE Infant Carseat, Slate Gray $100

This never-recalled, still-within-warranty car seat has only ever been installed using the LATCH system, rear-facing in the center backseat of a car whose driver has a flawless record. But given that a used carseat is akin to abuse, are you sure you even want kids? Your willingness to buy this is making us seriously question your fitness as a (future) parent.

This post was originally published on snackdinner. 

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About the Author

As a professor turned stay-at-home parent, Stephanie Pappas is in the glory of not knowing what she’s doing. She started snackdinner.com to write about just that, and to offer inspiration to parents, grandparents, aunties, uncles, and others who want to teach kids to make magic out of the ordinary. You can find snackdinner on facebook @snackdinner and instagram @trysnackdinner.