Parents, don't blame yourself if your stupid elf didn't move last night. I mean, it's probably your kids' fault right?
Humor Parenting

10 Reasons Your Elf Didn’t Move Last Night


If mornings don’t suck enough, add sad faces when the children discover that their beloved Elf On The Shelf has not moved during the night.

He has remained in the same spot he was found in yesterday and, thus, did not make the trip home to Santa to discuss how awesome his little humans are.

Obviously, this is their fault, and here are 10 reasons why:

1. One child, who shall not be named, used scissors in an inappropriate manner and now Mommy needs new undies. The Elf is saddened and needs a day to mourn the loss of Mommy’s things.

Children Who Break/Ruin Things = Naughty List

2. The Elf gets energy from what you eat for dinner, and since you refused to eat, he was too exhausted to move.

Hungry Children = Naughty List

3. The epic disaster left behind by hurricane “children” so terrified and disgusted the Elf that his feet couldn’t move through the mess.

Messy Children = Naughty List

4. All children in the house were so annoying, ridiculous, horrible, atrocious, and loud last evening that the elf lost all brain function and went into a stupor. He will recover when you have all apologized and are quiet for an entire night.

Annoyingly Loud Children = Naughty List

5. Mommy had too much wine and wouldn’t share. The elf was disappointed and refused to budge. Rude.

Mommy = Naughty List

(Ok, fine, so that one was Mommy’s fault. Sorry, kiddos, but wine is muy importante!)

6. You did not follow simple instructions and go to bed. An hour later you burst through Mommy and Daddy’s door and….well, the Elf cannot unsee what you saw Mommy and Daddy doing and he needs a day to recover from his complete and utter embarrassment.

Children Who Do Not Abide By Bedtime = Naughty List

7. The Elf cannot move until someone fesses up to coloring the dog pink. If you lie, he will not be able to move tonight either, and Santa will become suspicious that there are naughty children living in this house!

Lying/Refusing To Fess Up = Naughty List

8. The Elf tried to use the bathroom and sat on someone’s pee. He was so grossed out that he returned to his previous resting place to dry.

Children Who Do Not Lift The Lid And Aim = Naughty List

9. The Elf is terrified of the big, bad tooth fairy and, thus, does not move on nights when she arrives.

Losing Teeth = Bad Idea In December

10. Someone left the flaming front door open for the umpteenth time despite numerous reminders to close ALL doors, and The Elf froze. He needs time to thaw.

Neglectful Children = Naughty List

Why did your Elf refuse to move?

This post was originally published on Big Fit Fam.


About the Author

Brandi is a mother of 5 and workout enthusiast. She spends her time cooking and attempting to keep up with housework, but generally failing. She also works part time as a bartender and blogger. You can check out her blog at or follow her on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, and Twitter.