If moms were rappers, you know we'd rap about Target. Kids hanging off of the carts, always needing to pee, asking for snacks, and the judgmental eyes of other people watching our parenting.
Humor Parenting

Mommy the Rapper: Trippin’ Through Target

If moms were rappers, you know we'd rap about Target. Kids hanging off of the carts, always needing to pee, asking for snacks, and the judgmental eyes of other people watching our parenting.

By Nicole Merritt of jthreeNMe

Well, she’s back again — Mommy the Rapper. She believes that it’s better to just drop singles for you instead of pleasing you all at once by dropping a whole album, ya know?

If you want to check out Mommy the Rapper’s first two raps, you can view them here and here. You can also learn how to curse like a mother fudgin’ parent here.

The single dropping today is called “Trippin’ Thru Target.” Y’all ready for dis?

Here ya go, and you can thank me later…

Walking through Target with a giant pushing cart,

can barely fit through the aisle and then my child farts.

You give me a dirty look, like I have too many kids.

Here u want one? I’m accepting bids.

Every aisle that we walk down they keep asking for a toy,

and who keeps bothering his siblings, of course it’s my boy.

I try to feed them snacks and buy them a cake pop,

when the fussin’ starts again I think this trip will be a flop.

But we keep on going to gather what we need, 

oh my, what am I gonna do…the baby needs to feed.

And this one has to poop, and the other has to pee.

Thank god for Target’s family bathroom for the kiddies and me.

We finish in the potty now back to shop,

down goes one kid out the cart, he goes flop.

That’s what happens when your messing around.

Ugh, in Target can my sanity be found?

Everyone back on, now it’s time to get some more,

the oldest shouts “oh this trip is such a bore!”

I rush around to get all that we need ,

I end up buying so much more cause that’s the Target breed;

breed that I am and so are you,

if you also go to Target ’cause it makes you less blue.

Mommin’ these days it can be really rough,

parenting is challenging, it can be so very tough.

One is always crying, the other one may yell, 

and of course there’s always the one that fell.

But Target is my happy place so that’s where I still go,

when I can’t complete my shopping I get inspiration for my flow.

So, trippin’ through Target that’s what we do,

and maybe the next time we are there, I’ll see you.

Cause moms like me we often need a break,

and our love for Target is something we can’t fake.

BOOM. Mic drop. AGAIN.

This post was originally posted on jthreeNMe.

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About the Author

Nicole Merritt is a mother of three and the Owner and Founder of jthreeNMe, an imperfectly authentic peek at real-life marriage, parenting, and self-improvement. jthreeNMe is raw, honest, empowering, inspiring, and entertaining; it’s like chicken soup for those that are exhausted, over-stressed and under-inebriated, yet still utterly happy. Nicole’s work has been featured by Scary Mommy, The Good Men Project, BLUNTmoms, Thought Catalog, Everyday Family, Motherly & many others. You can follow Nicole at jthreeNMe and on Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram & Twitter!