By Kelly Riibe of Family Footnote 

“I don’t know why I chose that day or that moment at lunch, but I did and it was great,” said Cynthia Jones who, for the first time in forever, went to the bathroom by herself and left her spouse and children to sit alone in a booth at their local Jimmy John’s.

The 34-year-old mother of three felt her husband could handle five minutes without her, plus the solo trip to the ladies’ room had been on her bucket list for quite some time. She had not been in a public bathroom stall alone in almost eight years; heck, she had not been allowed to peacefully tinkle or go “number two” in private within her own master bathroom since having children.

While Cynthia acknowledged she could always lock the door on her own bathroom, it still never feels like alone time due to tiny fingers creeping under the door or the primal screams of her young. The rapid knocking of little fists followed by yells of “What are you doing?” “Why can’t I come in there?” and “What is that smell?” often left Cynthia in a disgruntled mood.

“I knew going to the bathroom at home in peace was never going to be an option,” explained Cynthia. “However, just as our super fast sub sandwiches arrived…I felt the urge to pee and thought since my husband was with us, it was now or never.”

She then simply stated she had to go to the bathroom, got up, and walked to the restroom alone. A mother sitting in the adjacent booth saw Cynthia’s entire solo walk to the bathroom and described it as both “epic” and “out of this world.”

“I saw her rise with a dream in her eyes. I tapped my son to turn around and watch this go down. She was fearless,” said the envious mother, with hints of both hope and parental judgment in her voice.

Cynthia admitted she almost turned back after hearing her 5-year-old loudly whine that she, too, needed to use the potty (despite going not five minutes earlier at Home Depot), but some inner voice made her keep walking. Cynthia’s husband, Greg, had a deer-in-headlights reaction to his wife’s abandonment.

“I don’t want to say she was being an unfit mom, but come on. One guy having to sit and watch all three kids while trying to eat a sandwich AND check the score of the football game on my phone. It just didn’t seem fair. I think she could have taken at least two kiddos into the stall with her,” remarked Greg, who also noted that he never has trouble finding alone time for the bathroom.

He went on to explain that his secret to going to the bathroom unnoticed is to use the downstairs toilet at their house. He also makes sure that his bathroom breaks come at a super hectic household time, so then no one notices him missing.

“I usually make my bathroom escapes for right around bath time or the start of dinner. Bedtime is another solid option, because, man, those kids can get crazy when it comes to wanting one more book read,” said Greg, who likes to enjoy at least fifteen to thirty minutes of alone time in the bathroom because it gives him ample opportunity to check Twitter and new TED Talks.

Greg wasn’t the only family member flabbergasted by Cynthia’s sudden departure to the restroom. Her oldest daughter, Gabby, also felt it was odd and very out of character for her mother.

“It was so strange because Mommy left right when the food arrived. How was I supposed to unwrap my sandwich and take off all the tomatoes by myself?” remarked the 8-year-old, who admits she never thought to just ask her father who was sitting right next to her in the booth.

Cynthia said, despite the family controversy, she is happy with her decision. She was able to enter a public bathroom and not once say the words, “Get off of the floor!” “Don’t touch that!” or “Please keep your mouth off of the pipes below the sink!” Her only regret is that she did not pick a fancier public restroom; however, her days of eating out at the Ritz, or even Olive Garden, are deep in the past.

Prior visits to public bathrooms over the years have often been met with frustration and even humility for Cynthia. She can recall a few particularly sticky situations when her toddler son joined her in a stall and “Aunt Flo” was visiting.

“It is hard to discreetly administer a super plus tampon when your little one is trying to sit on your lap and make a grab for it because he thinks it is a pen light,” explained Cynthia, who was only mildly embarrassed at this omission and often thinks that the olden days of women sitting in a “red tent” during menses was “right on.”

Despite obvious protests from her children and husband, Cynthia is still proud to have achieved this momentous line item on her always growing bucket list.

“It just gave me hope, you know?” said Cynthia with tears in her eyes. “Like maybe someday I will be able to talk on my phone without being interrupted 800,000 times. Or even go a whole week without the mini-van smelling like sour milk.”

Cynthia then quickly laughed at herself and shook her head, because she knows those two dreams have little-to-no chance of being fulfilled anytime soon. Yet, she has hope and that is all a mother needs in life (along with caffeine).

*****

About the Author

Kelly J. Riibe has three kiddos, a husband, a dog, and a mildly curbed addiction to Diet Coke. Keeping busy for her involves staying home with her children and also finding work as a freelance writer. She has been published in Nebraska Magazine, Heels on a Farm, MockMom, and is the co-writer for the blog Family Footnote. Her twitter handles are: @familyfootnote and @KJRiibe.