By Sarah Hosseini of www.SarahHosseini.com
“Parents who have tattoos should have their children taken away from them. It’s that simple. Furthermore, it’s my job as a parent to keep my kids as far away from these derelicts as possible,” said Mary Ann Smith.
Mary Ann Smith has lived in a suburban town in Georgia for ten years. She says her neighborhood used to be a quiet, family-oriented place. But slowly, young couples and millennial parents started moving in. That’s when she noticed a shift.
“When I’d be out walking our dog, I used to see moms in yoga pants and flip flops. You know, moms that looked just like me. It seemed like overnight I started running into moms with green hair, tattoos and nose piercings. They were all walking their purple-haired poodles, snapping selfies on their smartphones with the hashtag #dogsofinstagram. I knew it was a sign of bad things to come,” says Smith.
Smith is suing tattooed parents a few houses down from her. She claims the couple coerced her 15-year-old son into a dangerous lifestyle. Smith says her son started exhibiting risky behavior when he saw these parents parading around the cul-de-sac with their tattoos exposed.
“He saw that behavior–that lifestyle–and thought it’d be cool. So before I knew it, he was sticking fake tattoos on his skin, buying nose rings from Claire’s, and listening to Rob Zombie. It was awful. I’m afraid he’s going to end up in jail! I can’t let that happen to my son!”
Smith’s lawyer, Stale Hale of Drab, Stuffy and Associates, LLC, says he feels confident about his case and thinks the judge will be sympathetic to what Smith is enduring as a parent.
“My client, Mary Ann, is being forced to wash off temporary tattoos every single night from her son’s skin. She’s had to confiscate several fake nose rings. She’s fed up. She’s had it. Even worse, she is really worried that her son’s copycat behavior could have lasting and damaging effects. She’s paying for extremely expensive therapy sessions for the teen boy every week. She doesn’t want him to end up at some liberal arts college. She wants a bright, lucrative future for this young man,” said Hale.
Local psychologist, Dr. Vivian Vanilla, backed up the case with recent studies of parents who engage in body art. She says the findings should cause alarm for everyone. “It’s a societal problem affecting the next generation.”
According to a recent study done by a group called Educating Children Out of Creativity, they found that children of tattooed parents are 89% more likely to engage in risky behavior like self-expression, creative thinking, and artistic habits.
The group also found that children being exposed to body art in any form (through seeing it on TV or on people in their communities) are 75% more likely to think inspirational thoughts and explore their own artistic talents, leading to a lifetime of money scrounging and dream chasing. This condition, called Secondhand Self-expression, or SSE, is on the rise in staggering numbers, especially among children born to millennial parents.
“What we have here is a whole population that is saying, ‘Yes, it’s okay to graffiti our bodies. It’s okay to wear body bling, to be inked up. It’s how we’re expressing ourselves.’ When really, it’s graffiti of the soul and the psyche. The effects of SSE can be lethal to children exposed to this line of thinking,” says Dr. Vanilla.
Back in Plainville, Georgia, Smith is just trying to keep her son inside their house as much as possible. She’s limited his music and art studies at school to one hour a week.
“I just feel like I’m doing the best I can. Nipping this useless, creative behavior before it gets out of control,” says Smith.
The tattooed couple being sued, Mr. and Mrs. Aestheticski, say they are worried about one major possible outcome of the lawsuit. “I just hope we win the case and keep our money. If we lose money in this lawsuit, we won’t be able to support our twin girls on their education path. Well, the education path that we laid out for them but, ultimately, the one they’ll get to choose,” says Arvilla Aestheticski.
Aestheticki’s 5-year-old daughters have already been accepted to the prestigious Juilliard School in New York City. But, because she runs her house like a mini democracy, the girls will get to choose whether to attend Juilliard or, if they’d prefer, to take some time off to learn an art trade like their dad, who is a tattoo artist.
Their father owns the most popular tattoo parlor in the town and says he’d be willing to give the couple (who is suing him and his wife) free tattoos if they drop the case. So far, a settlement outside of court has not been reached.
About the Author
Sarah Hosseini is a writer, mother, Profanity Princess and Expletive Expert. “Giving my kids enough material to write a book about me one day, until then, they’re my material.” Work is published in Sammiches & Psych Meds, Cosmopolitan, Redbook Magazine, Good Housekeeping, The Huffington Post, Bustle, Your Tango and many more.She blogs weekly at www.SarahHosseini.com. Sarah lives in Atlanta-ish with her husband and two daughters. Follow along on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.