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Mom Admits Target Is Not Her Favorite Store, Is Shunned by Community

October 2, 2018 By Mock Mom

By Jen Mearns of The Undomestic Goddess 

“It’s so shameful,” G says, ducking her hoodie-covered head to avoid photographs. “It’s just that…things are cheaper here.”

She shrugs and continues pushing her cart through Walmart. “Please leave me alone.”

The mom admits, publicly, that Target is not her favorite store and the response in her community is one of total outrage. She opens her door the next morning to a lawn full of yellow Walmart clearance balloons and smiley faces stuck to her windshield.

“It’s shocking is what it is,” says another mom, shaking her head in outrage. “In this day and age, and Walmart is her favorite store? Shocking. Truly, truly shocking.”

A representative of Target was quoted as saying, “Does she know we have Starbucks? And we’ve made sure there is absolutely no candy in the checkout aisles for her kids to beg for?”

G’s response? “I want the candy at the checkout aisle. Once, I was in Target and all I wanted was a Snickers bar. I wasn’t myself, because I was hungry, see? And there were no Snickers bars to be found! I can’t live like that.”

G was last seen stuffing all the Snickers bars into her hoodie’s kangaroo pouch, in checkout lane eight of her favorite store.

*****

About the Author

My name is Jen Mearns and when I’m not wrangling three boys under four, I’m wrangling animals while pet sitting or most happily, writing. You can find my stuff on Scary Mommy, Pregnant Chicken, Hew View From Home, BabyGaga and Swaddles N’ Bottles. You can also find my personal blog, The Undomestic Goddess, and follow me on Facebook, Twitter @jennmearns, and Instagram.

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Mock Mom

About Mock Mom

MockMom is a satire-based corner of the internet where parents can come to cry-laugh about the trials of life with kids. Panty-wadding prohibited. Interested in contributing? Visit our submissions page for details. You can also help support our creative juices by donating to our tip jar.

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