David Pendragon and his cat lunchbox are making a point that should have already been taken by now. After Pendragon learned that his 10-year-old cousin, Ryker, was being teased for the lunchbox he was carrying, he got the same one and took it to work—his corporate and conservative coworkers loved it. The epic lunchbox features cat heads floating in a sea of purple, pink, and turquoise. Ryker loves kittens and cats and was pretty jazzed about his lunchbox until kids at school acted like assholes and made fun of his lunchbox and him for carrying it.
On his Facebook post that went viral, Pendragon says, “I have decided, however, to stand with my little cousin and show him that a man can love whatever he wants and not be afraid to express that love.”
YES.
Pendragon went on to say, “There’s no one way to be a man. Men can be colorful. Men can be expressive. Men can be emotional and silly and gleeful.”
YES.
Men can be all kinds of things. Except douchey punks who can’t allow themselves and others to express themselves in a way that doesn’t include our society’s patriarchal way of thinking. Don’t be that kind of man.
Men can certainly like all kinds of things. Except old-fashioned gender rules, mansplaining, and gender stereotypes. Don’t fall in love with those things, fellas.
Why are we even still talking about this? Why do we need to continue to remind people that boys and men can wear pink, paint their nails, nurture their love of animals, and cry when they want and need to cry?
Maybe people like me and Pendragon need to deliver the message in a different way. Here goes:
IT’S A FUCKING LUNCHBOX. It’s a fucking epic lunchbox. It is awesome and hilarious. Its purpose is to carry food and to make a kid feel good about the big love in his heart for cats. Mission accomplished.
WHO FUCKING CARES THAT IT HAS PINK AND PURPLE ON IT? They are colors. Colors do not belong to a gender. Colors do not make you weak or strong. Colors don’t make you gay or straight or something in between. COLORS ARE JUST COLORS.
GET OVER YOURSELF. Parents, men, women, kids. All of you. Get over yourselves and mind your own business. Life is so much more enjoyable for everyone if you just let people be themselves. Be yourself. Fly your flag. And don’t piss on anyone else’s.
And you know what, guys? Men who can confidently express themselves emotionally and physically are the ones who are going to make lots of friends and score lots of dates. Because dudes who can confidently rock a lunchbox as cool as Ryker’s are the ones who are going to find themselves surrounded by awesome people.
For the kids who are making fun of Ryker, I call bullshit. Because when they get a bit older, they will realize it’s cool to be different. They are going to see the humor and beauty of embracing irony and silliness. When they let go of expectations of what it means to be masculine or feminine, they will just be. And when they and we can do all of this, the bullshit falls away and we can focus on what we really want in life. I just wish I could be there to witness their aha moment, because it will happen. God, I hope it happens.
Not to say I told you so, but so we don’t have to keep having this conversation.
David Pendragon ends his post by writing, “I love my new lunchbox and I hope Ryker and all the other boys out there can see that their passion and self-expression is never something to be ashamed of.”
His message is on point. So is his bow tie.