Young kids do NOT get the proper meaning of words like "mine" and "share" and it's one battle after another trying to get hem to understand the proper concepts. Especially the idea of "Mom just needs 5 minutes to..."
Parenting

Lost In Translation: Do You Speak Toddler?

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Young kids do NOT get the proper meaning of words like "mine" and "share" and it's one battle after another trying to get hem to understand the proper concepts. Especially the idea of "Mom just needs 5 minutes to..."

By Rachel McDougall of Toilets Aren’t For Turtles

While both my kids have pretty good language skills for their ages, there are a few things that I’m still struggling to help them understand. Perhaps I need to learn to speak toddler?

Despite my best and most patient attempts, the following concepts are proving particularly tricky for them to comprehend.

Share

Sharing is a tricky concept for most people, and toddlers have more trouble than most at getting their sweet little heads around the idea. Little Miss 3.5 understands the concept of sharing  when someone else has something she wants – declaring, “It’s time to share!” before snatching the item from the other person. But when it’s her turn to share she looks at me like I’m insane. What? HER share? Ummm, what are you talking about woman? That wasn’t the agreement. The Stuntman is much the same. He’s very keen to get involved in the sharing when the thing that he wants is in the arms of another, but ask him to share something with his sister? “NO!! It’s MIIIIIIIIIIINE!!!!!”

Mine

Mine is another fairly fluid concept as far as toddlers are concerned. When it’s theirs, then they totally understand the concept of “mine.” But when it’s MINE (i.e. Mummy’s) apparently it is also theirs. This applies to food on my plate, the phone in my hand, and the keys in my pocket. However, the dirty tissue that is definitely not mine, is apparently not theirs either, so now it is mine. I’m confused, too.

Right now

They hear me say, “We are leaving RIGHT NOW!” However it seems to be interpreted as, “We’ve got loads of time so please carry on standing slack-jawed in front of the TV smearing vegemite on your clean t-shirt.”

Mummy just needs 5 minutes to…

Translated as “Mummy is clearly desperate for us to jump all over her, spill her hot drink down her front, yell at the top of our voices, and fight over who gets to sit on her lap.”

Mummy is on the phone

Usually said in a frantic, hushed whisper-yell, with one hand over the mouthpiece of the phone, and the other hand flapping the offending toddlers away. This phrase is completely misunderstood 100% of the time. I may as well say, “Mummy would love it if you could start shrieking at the top of your lungs about the fact that you need to do a poo, your desperate need to show me your amazing new artwork, or that your little brother just did a fluff on your head.”

Privacy

Little Miss understands the concept of privacy. When she’s on the loo she’ll say, “I need some privacy Mum. Go away please,” and I have to wait outside. She gets this one. BUT, when it’s ME on the loo asking for privacy, she takes this as an invitation to stand as effing close as humanly possible, rubbing my legs, making creepy intense eye contact, and asking me if I’m OK. No, actually, I’m not OK. I want some fucking PRIVACY!!!

It’s exactly the same

The piece of toast that is on my plate is EXACTLY THE SAME as the piece of toast that is on your plate. There is absolutely no freaking reason that you need to have mine. Or hers. They are EXACTLY THE SAME. And yet… they seem to understand this concept as “that piece of toast is eleventy billion times better than my piece of toast so I’m going to do everything in my power to make it MY piece of toast!” Until they actually get that piece of toast, and then it miraculously turns into just another boring old piece of toast which gets chucked on the floor. FARK!

Maybe

Maybe means yes to them. It means no to me. Maybe this is a problem? Maybe not. We’ll see (which means the same as maybe.)

I hope I’m not the only one with toddlers who have trouble grasping some of these concepts. But I’m jealous if you ever get any goddamn PRIVACY.

This post was originally published on Toilets Aren’t For Turtles

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About Rachel McDougall

Rachel McDougall is Mumma McD; a working mum of two cheeky toddlers – Little Miss (3.5) and the Stuntman (nearly 2) – blogging from the ‘burbs in Sydney, Australia. She’s a dairy-free coffee addict who appreciates red wine, bad language, and jokes with inappropriate punch lines.


Blog: http://www.toiletsarentforturtles.com
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