MockMom

Local Mom Unable to Stop Talking in Clickbait

By Shya Gibbons of Vintage Dreams With A Modern Twist

A mom in Missouri is facing divorce for reasons that are startling! The reasons why may shock you! Continue on to the next paragraph to find out why…

Thirty-nine-year-old Sharon Doogle returned home one day to find her husband and children gone, with only a note left explaining her family’s sudden departure. Sharon sat down with us to speak about the incident.

“Apparently they have had enough. Enough of what? Read on and I will tell you.

“It all started out innocently. I was a stay at home mom who would spend countless amounts of time online to pass the days of monotony. It turned me into this incredible woman at the beginning. Mason jar salad, mason jar crafts, mason jar decorative storage containers. I cooked fancy meals that I would find while scrolling. The kids and I would do crafts that I had seen tucked in a comment section as a good idea for any mom to try. I stopped interacting with everyone unless it was through the internet.

“I didn’t realize how far gone I was until one day my husband told me a joke and I said, ‘LOL.’ I didn’t laugh. I actually said ‘LOL’ out loud while I kept a straight face. He paused and then asked if I understood the joke. I told him, ‘That is seriously the funniest thing I have ever heard in my entire life, Sebastian. I am SHOOK.’

“He gave me a few glances before walking away. That was the beginning of the end. He would ask me if I wanted to go on a date and without looking up from my phone, I would respond, ‘Salsa girl emoji, hashtag sounds like fun.’

“When my 12-year-old daughter tried to tell me about how hard her day at school was, I told her, ‘Eye roll emoji. Hashtag wait until you’re my age.’”

The once happy family pleaded with Sharon to change her ways, but she found herself getting worse over time.

“They all told me to stop it, that it annoyed them when I would respond like that, but to be honest, I didn’t even realize I was doing it. I was so far gone that I could no longer differentiate between online speak and holding down an actual conversation.

“It’s a sickness, this online vernacular infiltration, and I’m too far gone to be saved. I shouldn’t be surprised that they are gone today after what happened yesterday. And what happened yesterday? You’ll NEVER believe it.

“My husband came home from work and asked what was for dinner. I said to him, ‘When Sebastian opened the oven door to find out what was for dinner, he couldn’t believe what he saw in front of him.’

“My wonderful, adoring husband of 11 years went to the oven, opened the door, and pulled out a note. He read the note out loud: ‘When the husband opened the oven door he was surprised to find a note that told him to open the microwave.’

“He was visibly frustrated at this point, but hungry, so he walked over to the microwave. He opened the microwave door and took out another note. ‘Are you serious, Sharon?’ he inquired. He let out a derisive laugh before he read out loud what was on the note: ‘When he opened the microwave door, it turned out that there had been nothing there all along.’

“That was when he got really angry,” Sharon recalled. “He stood in the kitchen and yelled, ‘You just click-baited me! Sharon, are you kidding me?’”

He sat at the kitchen counter, his frustration written all over his face, Sharon told us. “I didn’t realize it was that far out of hand. Sad face, crying eye emoji, embarrassed emoji. I am sorry, I am still working on phasing myself out of speaking like this, but when I am upset I speak emoji.”

Sharon said her husband told her he just wanted some space, as did her children.

We asked Sharon how she felt after telling her story and what she plans on doing next to take control of her life. “I guess I am just trying to move forward. My house is empty. I haven’t heard from my husband or children at all today. I don’t know what my next step will be.

“I have come full, cosmic circle and I am now a walking clickbait article: one woman was down on her luck, and it looked like she was about to lose it all until she took the risk of a lifetime and ended up with even more than she could have imagined.

“So, if you’ll excuse me, I have work to go do. What am I going to do next, you’re probably wondering? I can’t tell you everything, but I can promise that it will leave you shocked.”

*****

About the Author

Shya Gibbons is a full-time CEO (also called a stay-at-home-mom) to a precocious, blue-eyed three-year-old, and runs the blog Vintage Dreams With A Modern Twist. She is happily married to a gorgeous man who doubles as her best friend, and who loves her even on her worst days. She was born, raised and still lives in a picturesque small town where she has stacked up hundreds of bylines at the local newspaper. She also had a piece featured in the book I Just Want To Be Perfect. When she is not writing for fun she likes to binge watch seasons of shows at a time where she gets far too attached to fictional characters. You can find more of her work on Facebook