By Heather Sadlemire
ALBANY, NY – A 33-year-old Albany mother has been hospitalized with psychological trauma resulting from the harrowing events that took place in her suburban home on Tuesday night. Sources close to the case reveal that the woman went pee-pee on the potty without any fanfare.
Alarmed that nobody had barged in, requesting a snack, alerting her to a shirt with a scratchy tag or asking, “Are you peeing or poopin’, Mom? Mommy? Are you going to be quick? Mom, what are you doing in there?” the victim cautiously opened the door after washing her hands, and carefully ventured into the family room.
There, she found her five-year-old daughter playing Robux on her tablet and streaming Netflix on the tv, evidently oblivious to the fact that her mother just stepped out of the room to go to the bathroom. The pure shock of the situation caused the woman to faint.
“It was just a surreal moment,” the victim told news outlets. “I haven’t gone to the bathroom alone in over five years. I became aware of my loneliness as I flushed the toilet. It was just too quiet, ya know?
“At that point, over a minute had passed with the door closed. As I was washing my hands, I prepared myself for the inevitable congratulations upon relieving my bladder, or an interrogation regarding a missing My Little Pony that could NOT wait until I was finished, yet the door remained closed.
“When I saw her out on the couch and realized that she forgot to interrupt me as I peed, my heart just broke.”
Medical personnel say they expect a full recovery and are prepping the woman for the off-chance that she is able to shower undisturbed to prevent a similar occurrence from happening in the future.
About the Author
Heather Sadlemire is a marketing exec and New York native (of the upstate variety) who covers the last few pages of a book so that she doesn’t skim ahead and ruin the ending. She is a devoted library patron. In between consuming baked goods and stalking Kristen Bell’s social feeds, she performs Disney numbers for her daughter (a preschooler who doesn’t object). Follow her on Twitter and Instagram.