By MockMom Contributors
In news that could only be described as, “Oh God, why did you even tell me that? That’s a mental visual I never needed,” we’ve recently learned that there is one thing DJ Kahled won’t eat: his wife’s pleasure dome.
That’s right, he doesn’t like going down the hall. He doesn’t pitch from the mound. He doesn’t like cave diving. He won’t converse with Moses. He’s not a vagetarian.
So here’s a list of things that we assume DJ Khaled also doesn’t eat:
Clams
Oysters
Fish tacos
Any seafood
Any tacos
This geode cake:
Bloomin’ Onions
Hot pockets
Boxed lunches
Spreadable butter:
Muffins
Biscuits
Cupcakes
Cherry pie
Cream pies
Any pies
This cotton candy:
Honey pots
Jello shots
Pudding cups
Tootsie roll pops
Big league chew
DEFINITELY not tossed salad
Pretty much any sliced fruit:
In the exotics category:
Moose knuckles
Camel toes
Beavers
Small cats
*****
Special thanks to the following MockMom contributors:
Anna Gracia, Kristine Laco, Amber Leventry, Lola Lolita, Crystal Lowery, Joanna McClanahan, Jennifer Rosen Heinz, and Jorrie Varney.