MockMom

List of Other Things DJ Khaled Won’t Eat

By MockMom Contributors

In news that could only be described as, “Oh God, why did you even tell me that? That’s a mental visual I never needed,” we’ve recently learned that there is one thing DJ Kahled won’t eat: his wife’s pleasure dome.

That’s right, he doesn’t like going down the hall. He doesn’t pitch from the mound. He doesn’t like cave diving. He won’t converse with Moses. He’s not a vagetarian.

So here’s a list of things that we assume DJ Khaled also doesn’t eat:

Clams

Oysters

Fish tacos

Any seafood

Any tacos

This geode cake:

Bloomin’ Onions

Hot pockets

Boxed lunches

Spreadable butter:

Muffins

Biscuits

Cupcakes

Cherry pie

Cream pies

Any pies

This cotton candy:

Honey pots

Jello shots

Pudding cups

Tootsie roll pops

Big league chew

DEFINITELY not tossed salad

Pretty much any sliced fruit:

In the exotics category:

Moose knuckles

Camel toes

Beavers

Small cats

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Special thanks to the following MockMom contributors:

Anna Gracia, Kristine Laco, Amber Leventry, Lola Lolita, Crystal Lowery, Joanna McClanahan, Jennifer Rosen Heinz, and Jorrie Varney.