Self-care is a bit of a struggle because the people who need it the most have time for it the least. That’s right, I’m looking at YOU, parents!
The funny thing about self-care is that it means different things for different folks. For some people it’s a trip to the spa, but for others it’s pissing with the door closed and drinking a cup of coffee before it’s room temperature. CAN YOU IMAGINE?
They tell us that self-care is important and that it’s pretty much imperative to our mental health. However, the honest truth is that most of us are severely self-care deprived. Calgon, take us away! Sweep us away to the land of no more whining kids and bullshit into a sweet, sweet oasis of coconut-scented solitude. Actually, I’ll take any solitude at this point. It doesn’t need to be scented at all.
I’d love to indulge in more self-care. Starting with some time away from my kids. Followed up by some baked goods, a murder documentary and a deep dive into the comment thread of a very controversial meme. Ahhh. Feel that? The soothing embrace of relaxation and doing sweet fuck all.
If you don’t get enough self-care, you’re not alone!
The truth is, most of us don’t. This is why the concept of self-care has become the punchline of many hilarious jokes. Because sadly, the concept of getting a few moments of time for yourself is probably the most laughable concept of modern adulthood.
That’s ok, at least we have laughter.
Behold – Just 14 Funny Tweets About Getting Your Self-Care On
1. It’s about the basics
Sure, sometimes true self-care involves boring adult stuff like organizing your filing cabinet and checking your blood pressure, but can we also agree that sometimes it just looks like a basic girl drinking Starbucks, getting a pedicure, and eating a full-size Toblerone?
— The Mom at Law® (@TheMomAtLaw) July 10, 2018
2. Self-care isn’t even on the short list yet sooo…
Magazines: Are you practicing self-care?
Me: My chin hairs have split ends, so…
— Crystal Lowery Comedian (@Crystalllowery) April 29, 2019
4. Literally THE BEST
If self care is locking your kids out of the bathroom so you can pee by yourself, than hell yeah I practice self care!
— Hashtag MomFail (@hashtagmomfail) February 19, 2019
5. Self-care: It’ll transform your life
canceling plans is ok. staying home to cook is ok. disappearing for a bit to get your life together is ok. resurfacing in a foreign country with a new name 10 years later is ok. it's called self care
— Kevin Farzad (@KevinFarzad) January 13, 2018
6. We all have our ways to cope
Mom A at the park: Before I lose my patience with my son, I meditate
Mom B: I do yoga to stay centered
Me: I give my kids the finger when they’re not looking
— ParlerToddler (@Parler_Toddler) July 8, 2019
7. Well, that escalated quickly
Remember to practice self-care: Take a walk, meditate, try yoga, paint a picture, murder someone, burn a body, clean a crime scene…
— Ramblin Mama (@ramblinma) February 9, 2017
8. It’s really what’s best for me
Refusing to watch movies where the dog dies is my self care.
— S A R A B U C K L E Y (@nottheworstmom) March 29, 2019
9. The truth hurts
came to the realization that all of my forms of self care involve me spending money
— jalon (@jalonaz) December 15, 2018
10. So zen
I practice self care by locking myself in the bathroom to get some alone time.
— Tired Working Mom (@WorkingMom86) July 8, 2019
11. Let it all out, sis
Doctor: How do you practice self-care?
Doctor: Pillows? By sleeping on them?
Me: No. By screaming into them.
— Janina Maria (@dontlosethekids) January 18, 2018
12. You know, just the regular things
Self care essentials:
-muzzles for your family
-tranq darts for your neighbors
-an entire cheesecake
-a crown made of dollar bills
-a kitten dispenser
-5 miles between you and anyone else
— Healthy Living for Hot Messes (@HLFHM) June 5, 2018
13. Self-care can be addictive
The problem with “treat yo self” is that I don’t know how to stop. I had a bad day in April and I’ve been treating myself ever since
— kyle (@itsdjluigi) July 19, 2018
14. Almost anything can be called self-care if it’s avoiding people
not answering phone calls is self care
— ditch pony (@molly7anne) June 25, 2019
The moral of the story is that you need more self-care.
And if that fails (and it probably will), you can always have some laughs as a substitute.