Interview With Stay-Home Dad Reveals Dangers of Mothers in the Workplace

Interview With Stay-Home Dad Reveals Dangers of Mothers in the Workplace

By Crystal Lowery of Creepy Ginger Kid

As the average age of first-time parents increases, both moms and dads often have established careers for themselves by the time little ones come along, and many parents are swapping traditional gender roles.

I sat down with Dave Edwards, the father to 2-year-old twins, Zack and Harry, and husband to Valerie, to talk about his life as a stay-at-home dad.

Dave, what made you decide to give up on your dreams?

If you’re asking why Val and I concluded that I would be the one to look after our sons, it was because I have a career that allows me to work from home. I’m an accountant and manage my business whilst Val is home in the evening, whereas she is a cardiologist and can’t see patients in our house. Also, her earning potential is higher than mine, and life is expensive with twins (chuckles).

I’m sorry, but I’m a just a dumb woman with a small brain. Can you please stop using those highfalutin words? Valerie is a cardi-what?

She’s a heart doctor.

OK, so when Valerie answers the phone for the real doctors at the hospital, would she be considered a receptionist or a secretary?

She performs angiograms and fits stents into coronary arteries. She’s a doctor.

I don’t follow. Let’s move on. When you are at home with your sons, what do you do with your free time? I bet you watch television all day.

No, I don’t. As a hands-on dad, I study a lot about early childhood development in order to support Zack and Harry. Right now they are in an exciting stage of rapid language acquisition, so they are always asking questions. We read books and practice words with motion-songs. The repetition involved in children’s songs acts as a fun learning tool, and the use of hand motions is helpful because at this age their motor skills are more advanced than their verbal skills. At 2 years old, the pre-frontal cortex of the brain is flexible, making it difficult for toddlers to regulate their emotions and control their impulses. Knowing what their little brains are doing helps me to have patience with them when they lose their cool.

Since you’re not a woman and are therefore incapable of nurturing your sons through the phase you just mentioned, do you have a child therapist lined up to help Zack and Harry sort out the ways you and Valerie are damaging them?

My sons are bright, well-adjusted toddlers and they are thriving under our care.

The pants in your home that Valerie wears, are they khaki or denim?

We are a team and we make decisions together based on what works best for our family.

I see, and the handbag in which Valerie keeps your masculinity, is it a Kate Spade or Louis Vuitton?

You’re an idiot. This interview is over.

There you have it, folks, another family destroyed by the evils of women in the workplace. We can learn a couple of lessons here: 1) Dads are cold and detached from their children, and 2) Today’s cost of living is affordable, giving all moms the option of staying at home. Traditional gender roles are the only way to properly raise children.

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About the Author

Crystal Lowery is an American mom working in England. By day, she does medical research, by night she wrangles two toddlers, a boy and a girl. She has made millions laugh on The Huffington Post, Scarymommy, For Every Mom, In the Powder Room, Mumsnet and others. You can find her blogging at Creepy Ginger Kid and she’d love for you to follow her on Facebook.