By Crystal Lowery of Creepy Ginger Kid
Hi Friends,
This is an update following the pregnancy announcement I sent out. Scooter has been born and we finally got to take him to his forever home. I’m officially on paw-ternity leave.
For those of you unfamiliar with paw-ternity leave, it is a special time doggy mommies bond with their fur babies. Some people say having a baby is different from having a pet, but allow me to highlight the ways they are the same:
1. I got stuck in traffic on the way to the puppy mill to pick him up–that’s basically as painful as labor. Good thing my doula, Rain Blossom, was on hand to coach me through the delivery. It got a little wild on the 405 when we passed a construction zone, but by then I was crowning (as in Rain Blossom and I made a pit stop at Burger King where we got Whoppers and paper crowns. I sure hope I lose the food-baby weight soon.)
2. I struggled to breastfeed Scooter because he wouldn’t latch properly, so I’m afraid we had to resort to formula. Rain Blossom says Scooter will recover from the trauma this caused if we are intentional about fur-to-skin contact, so I’m wearing him in a Moby wrap right now.
3. Sleeping on paw-ternity leave has been a nightmare! By that I mean I had an actual nightmare last night during my solid nine hours of sleep. New moms have it ruff, am I right?
4. The medical bills set me back, like, fifty bucks because I believe in vaccinations. I’m not crazy, after all.
5. It is tough for me to think about returning to my job. I haven’t decided which crate I’ll keep him in while I’m at work.
In the meantime, we’re doing our best to socialize. Yesterday we had a play-date with my friend Jennifer who just got a new azalea (that she named Jenny, because it’s totally her mini-me!). Jennifer was on plant-ernity leave. I say “was” because unfortunately Scooter attacked Jenny until she was just a pile of petals.
The funeral will take place on Saturday, after which Jennifer will take bereavement. Scooter has gone into a deep depression at the passing of his best friend, so I’ve started a GoFundMe page with the hashtag #PrayForScooter to help him with his various needs as he grieves. My heart breaks for him. It’s like they say:
“Mothers hold their child’s paw for a moment but their heart for a lifetime.”
Or maybe it was:
“Making the decision to get a dog is momentous. It is to decide to forever walk around with your pooper scooper outside of your apartment complex.”
Speaking of which, I’d better go. Scooter just escaped the Moby wrap and took a massive dump on the carpet. Ugh. I’m thinking of getting rid of him.
Related Post: Teen Not Spanked as a Child, Still Graduates High School
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About the Author
Crystal Lowery is an American mom working in England. By day, she does medical research, by night she wrangles two toddlers, a boy and a girl. She has made millions laugh on The Huffington Post, Scary Mommy, Sammiches & Psych Meds, In the Powder Room, Mumsnet and others. You can find her blogging at Creepy Ginger Kid and she’d love for you to follow her on Facebook.