By Megan Loden

For the most part, I don’t feel particularly old or out of touch.  My teenaged daughters, while embarrassed by my mere presence at times, don’t seem to view me as “old.”  I’m a pretty young mom, just 20 years their senior.  I listen to “their” music stations at least half the time and I’m fairly accepting of their clothing trends and even hair color choices.  My girls talk to me about their friends’ moms and how they just don’t get certain things.  They know I’m the mom and not the friend, but they know I remember what it was like to be 14 and in high school.  They may roll their eyes when I jump on the overalls-back-in-style bandwagon as if I gave up that right when I left high school (I didn’t), but they sure do appreciate the fact that I also jumped on the return of the greatest accessory known to man recently.  That’s right.  You guessed it.  The scrunchie.  Who doesn’t love a good scrunchie?  My girls and I certainly love them and are embracing their return to glory together.

Even so, every once in a while the generational gap smacks me in the face.  Kids eating Tide Pods, for example.  Now, my kids never tried this and say they don’t actually know anyone who has, but some kids did it somewhere.  Enough that it is now a warning on TV ads.  The Keke challenge is funny, but kids just keep doing it, although they keep getting hurt.  Were we this dumb?  Maybe, but social media didn’t exist, so there’s little proof.  This last trend I have been faced with, though……I’m having a hard time coming to terms with it.

Homecoming being treated as if it were prom or even some of the more low key weddings I’ve attended is utterly ridiculous.  First, there’s the whole #Hoco thing.  I mean, really?!?  I don’t remember snapping so much as a Polaroid at my own homecoming just 20 years ago.  These kids are hashtagging it left and right.  Images are splattered all over Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat and any other format they can find.  Couples, friend groups.  Tagging each other and cross-posting to every place they can think of. 

Then there are the Hoco proposals.  Wait!  What?!?  It’s gotten to be completely over-the-top and unnecessary, in my humble opinion.  I mean, even boys who are already coupled up are expected to buy a box of specialty cupcakes with “Hoco?” spelled out in icing, a huge bunch of balloons, and put on a firework show just to get their own girlfriend to go to a school dance with them.  Yeah.  Let that sink in.  And I gotta tell ya, if I had to sit around and wait for my own boyfriend to ask me to go to homecoming before I could safely assume I had someone to go with, I might just say to hell with it and go with my girlfriends.  Why even bother to have a boyfriend in high school in that case?  Amirite?

These kids go through all this just to get a date.  Surely it must be smooth sailing from here, right?  Nope.  Now there’s this whole wardrobe to contend with for the inevitable “Hollywood” theme.  I’m sorry, but is homecoming not a theme suddenly?  Evidently not.

So, girls spend hundreds of their parents’ dollars on a dress, new shoes, hair and makeup, nails, and whatever else they decide they need for the night of their lives.  Guys rent a tux, buy corsages (ok, the corsage is just cute), and rent limos.  Yeah.  Limos.  For a fucking  homecoming dance.  Then, of course, the photographers show up because homecoming wouldn’t be complete without a professional record of the event.  And make no mistake, friends.  Homecoming is definitely an event nowadays.  This photographer poses and adjusts the kids to look absolutely perfect all for a dance they probably won’t remember in 10 years.

It really is just a bit much.  I mean really.  What fresh hell awaits us in a few years for prom?  The thought actually frightens me.  Like, do I just rent a helicopter and strap go-pros to my daughter and her date to capture the moment they parachute into prom?  Do we charter planes and rent out Disney World for the after-party?  Is there some list we should all be tacking our names onto to ensure we have the most prestigious dress designer in town? 

These are scary times we are living in, and I shudder to think of how unpopular I am sure to make myself when I tell my girls I’m not taking out a second mortgage so they can have the homecoming or even prom of their dreams.  I mean, I’m definitely saying it.  But I don’t relish the thought.

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About the Author

Megan is a stay at home mom taking motherhood one day (read: glass of wine) at a time. When she isn’t busy embarrassing her teenaged twins with her mere presence, she can be found obsessing over her 10-year-old son or talking to her dogs and cats while her husband answers on their behalf, voices and all. She can be found on her Instagram, on Facebook, at or on Twitter. Her writing can be found on Twiniversity here and on BLUNTmoms.