By Sarah Pierce of Midwest Mummy
Being momcore is pretty fucking awesome. It’s just enough sanctimommy to feel confident about the decisions you make, the right amount of helicopter mom to keep your kids safe without smothering them, and just a pinch of WTF mom to keep the true sanctimommies and helicopter moms away from you.
Momcore is literally the best kind of mom to be, and I’m going to tell you how to be momcore like me in just a few easy steps.
1. Know the Goal and Stand by It
Recognize in any given situation what you want for your child and be all in. Don’t let someone else’s eye rolling or shit talking get you to back down. This is your family, and you need to know where you stand on the issue at hand and to stay strong.
This doesn’t mean you won’t have to adjust, and it doesn’t mean you’re always right. It means you’re making the best decision for your family at that moment, and fuck what anybody else thinks.
At the end of the day, you and your partner are the ones responsible for raising a well-rounded human being, and you’ve got to make the decisions for that little person regardless of what others might do in your shoes. Standing by your parenting style and goals is momcore.
2. Let Your Children Fail
While I regularly want to bubble wrap my daughter and keep her inside and safe, it’s important to let my kid fail. I’m not saying you should let them jump off the roof or truly hurt themselves, but you need to give them enough room to run, fall, cry and learn.
Being raised in the ’80s and ’90s myself, I think back a lot to how I was “parented” (did they even call it that back then?) and do my best to allow the same freedoms to my daughter. It’s momcore at its finest.
3. Be Weird
Kids are weird. They make strange noises for fun, break out silly dance moves in the strangest places, and say things that will outright embarrass you. This is what kids do. It’s who they are.
Instead of getting embarrassed or trying to squash that behavior, I try to join in. I bring myself down to my daughter’s level. I make strange noises, make silly, ugly faces right back at her, or dance and sing along.
So often people try to stay normal, be like everyone else, and fit in. Being momcore means realizing that everyone is weird. The sooner you let your kids be who they are (note: as long as your kid isn’t a screaming jerk), the better off you’ll all be. That’s momcore.
4. Do Things you Hate
Being momcore means immersing yourself in your child’s world. At my daughter’s age of two, we obviously aren’t into the same things. This means I get to listen to her sing John Jacob over and over again and pretend to be excited about it. This means reading the same books over and over again. This means watching LeapFrog episodes on Netflix that I already know by heart for what feels like the millionth time. This means I am momcore.
5. Go with your Gut
Momcore parenting means going with your gut decision. I don’t run to the doctor every time my daughter has a runny nose. I only go when I get the feeling something’s wrong. I also let my daughter play with certain toys that aren’t designated for her age group.
Again, think of parenting 30 years ago, and go with that. Not quite free range parenting, but calculated risk parenting. Remember that you’re the one who knows your child best, so to hell with the rest. That’s momcore.
6. Stop Giving a Fuck
The most important thing about part of being momcore is ceasing to give a fuck. You’re going to be judged. You’re going to be on the outside of the traditional mommy cliques. But in the end, who gives a fuck?
Being momcore means standing by your parenting strategy (whatever it is), finding a group of other kick ass momcore ladies who may or may not agree with your parenting style (but who also don’t judge you), and doing what’s right for your family.
Being momcore is definitely the best. So sanctimommies, helicopter moms, granola moms, and moms who don’t know where you fit in, to you I say, good luck with your parenting style. I’ll be over here taking tiny bits and pieces of each of your styles as I see fit, tweaking them to meet my family’s needs, and enjoying every moment of it.
Care to join me?
About Sarah Pierce
Sarah Pierce is a midwest mom with one crazy toddler, an awesome husband, and a ridiculous chocolate lab, surviving on caffeine, love, and as little sleep as humanly possible. She’s new to the blogging world with a previous contribution on Scary Mommy, and a full time job. Follow Sarah on Twitter (@TriSarahTops04) or her blog Midwest Mummy.