By Erika Watts of Dorky Mom Doodles
As parents, there are songs that quickly become the bane of our existence, like Daddy Finger. There is absolutely nothing redeeming about that song, and putting some of the Daddy Finger videos on autoplay on YouTube would serve as an excellent method of torture. And then there are a lot of songs that take on more of a deeper meaning when you have kids. Some of those are sappy, but others are songs parents can relate to in more of a “This totally sums up parenting” way.
NO DOUBT – DON’T SPEAK
When my older kid has talked for 20 minutes straight about Minecraft, and I feel like my head is going to explode, this song applies. When the other kid has talked nonstop about which character from The Incredibles or Peppa Pig she wants to be, or likes the best, or wants for Christmas, this song applies.
Don’t speak
I know just what you’re saying
So please stop explaining
Don’t tell me ’cause it hurts
It really does hurt. My head. It hurts my head.
DMX – PARTY UP
The chorus of this song should be every parent’s anthem. It’s perfect for any situation where the kids are acting like little heathens and you want to express how they’re making you feel without letting loose a string of cuss words.
Y’all gon’ make me lose my mind
Up in here, up in here
Y’all gon’ make me go all out
Up in here, up in here
Y’all gon’ make me act a FOOL
Up in here, up in here
Y’all gon’ make me lose my cool
Up in here, up in here
As luck would have it, both of my kids have taken a liking to this song, and I’m pretty sure they push my buttons at times just to get me to sing it.
STING – I’LL BE WATCHING YOU
Everyone knows how it is with kids. They are constantly eagle-eyeing you, especially when you’re trying to sneak a cookie after you’ve told them no more junk, or are trying to check your texts after you’ve declared screens banned for the rest of the day. It doesn’t stop there with my kids. They’re straight up little stalkers. It doesn’t matter whether I’m on the toilet, asleep, or brushing my teeth, someone is usually there watching me.
It gets super creepy at times.
Every breath you take
Every move you make
Every poop you take
Every curse you make
I’ll be watching you
No, I’ll Be Watching You didn’t need a rewrite at all to be declared a parenting song, but I tweaked it anyway.
MC HAMMER – U CAN’T TOUCH THIS
What is it with kids touching everything? Even older kids can’t keep their hands off stuff they have no business touching.
Stop grabbing my tampons, my shampoo, and my phone. With the exception of the tampons — which both of my children have thought was candy at some point — everything they touch manages to get lost. Maybe if I adopted some of MC Hammer’s signature dance moves and sang out “You can’t touch this!” they’d be more inclined to stop. At least the older one would out of embarrassment, I hope.
DESTINY’S CHILD – SAY MY NAME
They say “the” is the most commonly used word in the English language. All parents know this isn’t the case when it comes to kids. Some variation of “Mom” or “Dad” is used at least ten times as much as “the,” and while it is often said in a way that can make your heart melt, it can also be said in a way that makes you die a little inside.
Say my name, say my name
The kids are always around you
Saying “Mama I need you”
Won’t you play another game
Say my name, say my name
Don’t say my name! Especially when you do it in a Feeny Call sort of way!
BONUS: BACKSTREET BOYS – I WANT IT THAT WAY
I don’t know which is worse, this song or the kids demanding to have everything Burger King style, but either way, the song is relevant.
The ultimate parenting version of the song:
Tell me why
Ain’t nothin’ but a headache
Tell me why
Ain’t nothin’ but a migraine
Tell me why
I never want to hear you say
I want it that way
Which song would you dub a parenting song after having kids?
This post was originally published on Dorky Mom Doodles.
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About the Author
Erika Watts is a SAHM to two kids. When she isn’t busy with the typical mom stuff (soccer, changing diapers, and refereeing shouting matches), she enjoys Netflix binges, reading, and creating bad doodles for her blog. Her blog is Dorky Mom Doodles, and you can find her on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.