Many people tout the positives of marijuana, but this woman tells a different story about its effects on her, her kids, her relationship, and her health.
Life

How Marijuana Affects My Family

Many people tout the positives of marijuana, but this woman tells a different story about its effects on her, her kids, her relationship, and her health.

By Anonymous

Everyone’s experience with marijuana is different and it is used for different reasons. There are several side effects and negative experiences for families. My husband is a habitual marijuana user. This piece is going to give you an inside look at how my husband’s usage affects my family’s lives. Marijuana is receiving more media attention and it’s not such a taboo subject. I read a lot of positive things in regards to its medicinal use. Research shows when used correctly it can benefit a number of medical conditions in adults and children.

*Please note this is MY experience; things I go through. Not all users are the same and my personal experience should not reflect someone seeking marijuana for personal medical reasons.*

My husband is diagnosed with ADHD and depression. These two conditions are why he smokes pot rather than takes prescription drugs. I believe, if used correctly, marijuana can be beneficial to patients under a physician’s care. My husband, however, doesn’t use it correctly. In my opinion, he is an addict. He uses marijuana as a crutch, but I guess I should be happy it’s only marijuana.

Upon awakening every day his “need” to smoke affects his mood. If he doesn’t get his fix quickly, he becomes violent, aggressive, and stays angry until he gets his morning toke. He is fixated all day on getting his next high.

While I know everyone is not as addicted as my husband, it’s hard to imagine anyone else’s usage isn’t the same. It’s hard to promote marijuana for medicinal use when my family is so negatively impacted.

My husband spends approximately sixteen hours a day smoking marijuana. It affects his work habits and how he spends his money. Marijuana is always his top priority. He spends one hundred fifty dollars a week on his habit. If anything, such as bills, gets in the way, he is a force to be reckoned with. His “need” for marijuana outweighs any other needs our family may have.

Every friend my husband has drives down Doobie Lane. Some of them use it to take the edge off as suggested. Others are users like him. Some of his friends make sure their families and bills are taken care of first, while others would rather lose their place to live to be able to have their marijuana fix. The friends who seem to have their shit together are always asking my husband to share his stash with them.

Another thing I’ve noticed: my husband’s friends always want the free high. They rarely offer to get my husband high in return because they know my husband will make his family suffer to sustain his habit. The irony of a user being used for a free pass.

I won’t let him toke in our home or around our children. While others may lock themselves in their rooms to smoke with their children running around the house, I won’t let my children be there. I guess he would rather have a place to do his business than have an honest and true friendship. Life is already messed up enough without adding being around drugs to the list of shitty things parents can do.

Don’t get me wrong; I understand he is replacing prescription drugs with marijuana and stepping outside to get high because he “needs” it. His actions do not go unnoticed by our children though. I have one son who visits his bio-dad frequently and has already stated we condone marijuana use in his presence. His statement led to a disagreement amongst us parents. Since then, I take care to keep my husband’s usage away from my home. People consider me antisocial because, since my children come first, I’d rather have less friends than have my children around drug usage.

People say marijuana isn’t a gateway drug and thus far it hasn’t led to anything else in my home. However, I’ve noticed my husband’s need for marijuana increasing. He is spending more time smoking and more money on his habit. When will enough be enough for him? I think as more time passes, he is going to crave something more because the high of marijuana isn’t helping him anymore. He is becoming desensitized to it. What comes next when the marijuana no longer stills his mind?

His addiction affects how I deal with daily life. I’m always on eggshells waiting for him to snap in anger because he isn’t high enough. My mornings are rough because I know the sun shining brightly is going to piss him off. He’s going to be aggressive because he has to work and can’t spend more time chasing his high.

My husband complains about me being a stay-at-home mom, yet, when he’s gone so many hours smoking, how am I supposed to find a job? How can I leave my children with someone who cannot remember dinner is supposed to be served between five and six? I used to work— and bring in a lot of money—but my kids suffered. They weren’t fed on any kind of schedule. If they didn’t beg for food, my husband wouldn’t feed them. I worked second shift and my husband had to take me to work for fear of being left without a vehicle. He had to have a way to get places so he could smoke. My kids would stay up until eleven or later on a school night so I would have a ride home.

When I worked, if I came home at eight, my kids were starving for dinner because their father hadn’t fed them. He insisted they never asked for food. They would go days without bathing if I wasn’t home to help them because he was too busy to make sure their basic needs were taken care of.

I cannot remember the last time my husband sat down to dinner with our family. He is too busy smoking to come home at a reasonable hour. I can’t remember when we went to bed at the same time last. I’m always asleep before him and he wakes me when he comes home thinking he’s going to get sex. How can I perform one of the most bonding acts when I feel like I’m living with a stranger? I feel like we are roommates most of the time except I’m forced to clean up after him. Wait. Do roommates do that sort of thing?

I don’t know if it’s the marijuana or his insistent need to smoke, but my husband doesn’t do chores. He is teaching my children women should be the ones to cook and clean. How do I stop this from happening if he cannot be bothered to help? Should my children suffer so I can have a job to support the needs of our household?

These questions plague my mind resulting in sleepless nights. Why is marijuana more important than our family? I was aware he was a recreational user when we started dating, but his usage wasn’t this profound. Over the years he’s become more dependent on smoking. I, personally, do not use drugs. I smoke cigarettes and when I run out I’m yelled at for the costs I incur. I’ve tried to quit, but with as much stress as he has me under, I can’t seem to kick the cigarettes. I’ve found myself needing more antidepressants and different medications because of his absence. The more he’s gone smoking, the more stressed I become.

I’ve found sitting on my ass gaining weight is how I’m coping. I’m not the me I was eight years ago. I don’t want to leave my humble abode for any reason. I don’t want to be around people. My husband cannot see how sad and lonely I am because he’s too worried about spending time with his friends getting high. He doesn’t see how his smoking affects our home.

Eight years ago he was happy with smoking a little here and there. He would spend quality time with our kids and myself. I remember taking trips to the beach with him and spending the day swimming and laughing. In the last three years, we have gone to the beach once. It was cut short because he HAD to get home so he could get high. If I were to plan a trip to the beach or to do anything fun, I would plan for just myself and our children to go. His opportunity for making memories with our children is superseded by his addiction to marijuana.

Marijuana affects my family. The effects are unbearable for us. We are put on a sideline waiting for the man of our house to wake up and realize we aren’t always going to be around. When will my husband notice the depressing path he is leading us on? Will I still be with him when he finally realizes we should be more important?

“Man is largely a creature of habit, and many of his activities are more or less automatic reflexes from the stimuli of his environment.” – Stanley Hall

Your experience with marijuana may be different than mine. Your family may have a different outlook. Please respect this is something I deal with. This is my personal life and my husband’s usage of marijuana.