By Rhiannon Giles of rhiyaya.com

Having already worked through the roster of vile, old, white men currently living in this country, anonymous sources reported seeing the ghosts of both Strom Thurmond and Jesse Helms leaving President-elect Donald Trump’s Manhattan apartment on Sunday.

Trump, speaking through his official Twitter account, added fuel to the speculation by writing, “Thurmond and Helms spent their time in the senate fighting tirelessly for the rights of straight white men. Heroes!”

Trump’s newly appointed chief of diversity, the ghost of Jerry Falwell Sr., addressed reporters late Sunday evening. Amid questions of who would act as the liaison between the rest of the Trump administration and the spirits of bigots past, Falwell stated that Billy Graham Sr. would be the obvious choice, seeing as how he is half dead already.

It is unclear what part the fossilized souls might play in the new administration, but as Trump moves his deplorables from basket to cabinet, it is anticipated that more archaic and obsolete spirits will be called upon to join the ranks.

In response to the uncertainty surrounding two formerly-living pillars of intolerance and xenophobia holding influential positions, detractors are being admonished to “give them a chance.”

One member of the Trump transition team, speaking on the condition of anonymity, said, “We have a lot to learn from our past. Like how to best disenfranchise minorities through subtle gaslighting.”

When asked if the ghosts of Hitler and Mussolini were considering appointments, he scoffed, saying, “Well, that would just be ridiculous.”

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About the Author

Rhiannon Giles is an overwhelmed mother who only occasionally considers giving her children to the circus. She has a sarcasm problem and writes regularly at rhiyaya.com. To keep up with new posts and see some of her favorites, join her on Facebook and Twitter.