By Samara of A Buick In The Land Of Lexus
My BFF Troublemaker and I spend way too much time talking about sex.
We have pretty much the same issues regarding the procurement of it. We’re both single moms who do NOT want to be in any kind of committed relationship. Which is not to say that we want cheap, meaningless sex with randos, although that is surprisingly difficult to find in the suburbs.
We’re also not into online hookups since neither of us wants to end up with a serial killer who has oral sex with our severed heads.
But we know lots of single chicks who have all the zany exploits we used to once have.
When she told me the story of her girlfriend who gave the Uber driver a hand job, I laughed like a hyena. I thought it made a great title for a story, even though it wasn’t mine.
It’s click-baity. I’m well aware of that.
A recent story went viral, a story whose title implied that a woman divorced her husband because he left dishes in the sink. Because I’ve read this blog before, there was nothing very interesting about it. It’s pretty much the same regurgitated crap this blogger has been writing for years.
It’s all about how men are the real reason marriages fail: stupid, stupid men who just don’t understand that women want, no, NEED, you to put your dirty clothes in the hamper in order to keep our marriages alive.
The title was total click bait. He admits that isn’t why his wife left him.
Kind of like me titling this story “I Gave My Uber Driver a Hand Job” when that never happened.
So dearest men, here me out: WE DON’T CARE HOW AWARE YOU ARE OF ALL THE STUPID SHIT YOU DO. WE NEED YOU TO STOP DOING IT.
You know: BE THE CHANGE.
Otherwise, you’re just going to spend the next decade driving some poor women insane, acting like an asshole and then owning up to it.
But I digress: You see, I also completely disagree with the premise of the article. I’m not going to comment on his blog because I don’t want the “wrath of the blog/blogger” unleashed at me. (If I want to engage in pointless debates, I’ll call my ex.)
I personally am guilty of doing things that drove my ex nuts and would, in fact, drive many partners nuts. For example, I often forgot to check in with him if I wasn’t coming home after work. It drove him crazy. It worried him. And I tried to remember to text him and let him know. The fact that it was super important to him should have motivated me to remember. But I live in my head. I get so absent-minded that, try as I might, I still sometimes forgot.
It was NOT a symptom of my lack of devotion to the marriage. It was more about the fact that I’m a space cadet, combined with how independent I was used to being prior to the marriage.
Life is much too precious and complicated for people to view dishes as a symptom of deeper issues. The sink’s dishes are the sink’s problem.
The most interesting thing about his article was a comment someone left, which captured the truth perfectly. She wrote that not only was it a click-baity title but also, the author knows his audience, and it was an article designed to make women swoon.
YES! SO MUCH YES!
You see, the blogging world is filled with the walking wounded, most of them women. And when you finally find a man who writes all about how stupid men are, how culpable they are in divorce, it’s swoon-worthy material. Women ask him out on his blog all the time.
I love click-baity titles. I try to use titles that will draw people in. But to be clear, no: I did not give an Uber driver a hand job. In fact, the only time I ever used Uber was in Portland — with my 12-year-old (and that would have been fucking awkward as hell).
However, Troublemaker’s friend DID give HER Uber driver a hand job, and it was quite the story.
What do you think of click bait titles?
Is leaving dishes in the sink sometimes just LEAVING DISHES IN THE SINK?
Did you ever give an Uber driver a hand job?
Talk to me; I’m listening.
This post originally appeared on A Buick In The Land Of Lexus.
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About the Author
Samara is the no-holds-barred, seven-times Freshly Pressed blogger at A Buick in the Land of Lexus. She mixes honesty with humor in high definition, first-person story telling. Samara has been featured on Scary Mommy, BLUNTmoms, Mamapedia, Mamamia, and Human Parts. She lives in New Jersey with her son Little Dude, the coolest 11-year-old kid on the planet. Follow her on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.