Email is a mode of internet technology that helps us communicate. Since its inception, it has become a way for Grandma to say hi, for your office to squabble in CC’d public glory, and another way for us to be inundated with clutter.
Although email is widely used, there are still some differences in how we all use it. Some of the finer etiquette points are lost on some, while other unspoken “rules” most of us try to follow — to a fault.
This many exclamation points is acceptable!
This many is not!!!
As with any written exchange, email can be fraught with misunderstanding because tone cannot be communicated clearly. This is why it’s so important to follow the “rules” of this mode of contact. And to walk the very fine line between seeming carefree and crazy.
If you’ve used emails or worked in an office, then chances are, you’re familiar with this culture. The strange, modern culture of the email exchange.
1. If you aren’t measuring your worth in emails, are you even living?
No new emails: Convinced everyone hates me.
Two new emails: Completely overwhelmed. Fakes my own death and starts new life in the country with some chickens and maybe some goats.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) October 30, 2019
2. Ahhh, the dreaded “hey girl” email.
When you get an email from a "friend" who didn't congratulate you on your children's births, but she's "selling an amazing new jewelry line" pic.twitter.com/1ce4PPXCtO
— Jennifer S. White (@yenniwhite) December 21, 2016
3. Your mental wellness is directly correlated to the amount of unread emails renting space in your life.
What? This IS me with my life together. I had to delete over 4,000 unread emails, to get here.
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) May 18, 2016
4. We walk this fine line with the agility of a Cirque du Soleil performer.
email culture is switching an exclamation point between your greeting and your first sentence because you don't want to come on too strong by exclaiming twice in a row.
— anna borges (@annabroges) April 11, 2019
5. Well, we all hope our kids will end up a little better than us, right?
Experts: Teach your children to handle adversity
Me: <visibly upset about the time I typed “forth” instead of “fourth” in an email 7 months ago> Okay, got it.
— AsKateWouldHaveIt (@KateWouldHaveIt) July 24, 2018
6. This. Is. An. Emergency.
*emails entire department*
subject line: HIGH PRIORITY IMMEDIATE ACTION ITEMS!!
"Does anyone have hot sauce?"
— S A R A B U C K L E Y (@nottheworstmom) April 4, 2017
7. Life is weird when you grow up.
8. And Lord have mercy if there was a typo…
My anxiety, constantly reminding me of the email I regret sending three months ago https://t.co/GNSLfq0O4x
— Robin Thede (@robinthede) January 11, 2020
9. Help, I’m an overly-enthusiastic bag of trash.
Mentally torturing myself over using two exclamation points in the last email I sent, like a goddamn psychopath.
— AlwaysAshley (@AshleyFrankly) December 17, 2019
10. Get you an employee that can do both.
BUSINESS TIP: Sending a work email in Comic Sans font communicates to others that you’re both a full-time professional and a part-time clown
— Jon “Jon Baker” Baker (@JonBaker) March 22, 2017
11. This is how a relationship ends before it even starts, TBH.
Imagine you meet your soulmate then discover he has an inspirational quote in his email signature
— Taylor Soule (@TaylorOSoule) August 18, 2019
12. What’s it like to be the digital version of a renaissance fair?
I try not to rush to judgment.
Except for you, people with AOL email accounts, you're fucking weird.
— Ramblin Mama (@ramblinma) March 16, 2016
Happy emailing, folks!
Just remember the ground rules – make sure you seem nice, but not too nice, show enthusiasm (but in a restrained way), make sure to clear your inbox before it buries you, and never EVER, under any circumstances, use comic sans or a motivational quote unless you want to be seen as the lame aunt or the office crazy. Simple enough!