Father Repeats Himself After Promising Not To

Father Repeats Himself After Promising Not To

By Melissa Janisin of

In what his wife calls a “totally typical” turn of events, a Pennsylvania father told his children something again after announcing that he would not tell them that thing again under any circumstances.

Roger Ritter, 45, does this at least once a day and sometimes twice, according to his wife of 8 years. “He gets frustrated after telling the kids multiple times to take showers, stop trying to maim each other, et cetera,” says Abby Ritter, 44. “And eventually he’ll yell, ‘Listen! I’m not gonna say it again!’ or something along those lines.”

When asked what usually happens next, Mrs. Ritter reports that nine times out of ten, he does, in fact, say it again.

For his part, Roger insists that his wife “doesn’t know what she’s talking about.” He claims that he almost never uses the ‘not gonna say it again’ tactic, but that when he does, his kids know he means business.

Abby Ritter is skeptical about her husband’s assertion. “Please,” she tells us. “He’s an expert at issuing ultimatums; it’s just the follow-through where he falls apart. And thank God, because some of them I really don’t think I could stick to.”

“She’s too easy on them, that’s the problem,” says Mr. Ritter. “I guess that’s why I sometimes feel I have to go to extremes.”

Be that as it may, Mrs. Ritter doesn’t agree that threats such as “you’ll never have another milkshake in your life” and “I will throw that Playstation right in the garbage” make any sense whatsoever. “It’d be one thing if he planned on actually going through with it,” she says. “But I just spent over $300 on that Playstation! I’m pretty sure I’d stab him if he threw it in the garbage.”

In related news, a recent study has found that “actually getting up off the couch instead of just repeating yourself six million times” is among the most effective methods in getting your children to listen.

Upon hearing this, Mrs. Ritter said, “Huh. WHO KNEW?”


About the Author

Melissa Janisin is a mom of two and also, coincidentally, a daughter of two. She writes about both these roles and more at You can also find her on Facebook and Twitter.