MockMom

Family Not Blind, Ignore Items On Stairs Anyway

 

The landmark class action suit between a 42-year-old mother of three and the National Optometric Association, which grabbed the attention of Facebook Mommy Groups nationwide, has been dropped after the Plaintiff realized that nothing was wrong with her family’s eyes – they simply choose to ignore items placed on the stairs, never delivering them to their final destination.

When New Jersey mom Penny Wilde noticed that clutter was piling up on her home’s staircase, she began to worry. Wilde had verbalized to her husband and three children that if something of theirs was placed on the bottom of the staircase, they were to carry it up upon their next trip. However, she soon realized that the pile of sweatshirts, tissue paper collages, and McDonald’s Happy Meal toys was not diminishing.

A month passed, with Wilde reminding her family on a near-daily basis to bring their things upstairs with them. However, nothing seemed to move. When a library book sat untouched for its 28-day loan period, she became determined to find the source of the problem.

All members of the family went to the local optometrist, where all were declared to have 20/20 vision. Positive they were misdiagnosed – as they still weren’t carrying the carefully placed items upstairs – the Wilde family went on to visit seven other eye doctors in the Tri-State area. After being delivered the same report over and over, Wilde determined that the doctors were not properly trained.

She spent the next couple of days posting in forums and asking friends if the same thing happened in their homes. When she realized it was a common occurrence, Wilde solicited an attorney after a former co-worker’s essential oils rep responded to her recommendation request on Facebook.

Several mothers joined her in the class action lawsuit. The day before the case was set to go to trial, it was dropped. Wilde’s attorney released the following statement:

“My client would like to apologize to the National Optometric Association for the bad publicity this may have caused. While eating dinner last night, it was brought to our client’s attention that her family’s vision was fine. They all admitted to seeing the things placed on the stairs. However, they pass by them because eventually, Ms. Wilde will bring them up on her own. Additionally, her family admitted to sometimes ‘forgetting’ to grab items as they passed, and all ‘promised’ to ‘try harder.’

“We ask for privacy during this time, as Ms. Wilde is grappling with the fact that she is the only one in her home who cares if items are put back where they belong.

“Additionally, the other women who joined our client in this class action suit are all recovering from the stress and disappointment with the help of a custom-blended essential oil – which can be easily distributed through a diffuser, or by dabbling on their pulse points – because there IS an oil for that.”

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About the Author

Heather Sadlemire is a marketing exec and New York native (of the upstate variety) who covers the last few pages of a book so that she doesn’t skim ahead and ruin the ending. She is a devoted library patron. In between consuming baked goods and stalking Kristen Bell’s social feeds, she performs Disney numbers for her daughter (a preschooler who doesn’t object). Follow her on Twitter and Instagram.