MockMom

‘Facebook Memories’ Responsible for Almost Half of New Pregnancies

By Joanna McClanahan of Ramblin’ Mama

A new study has confirmed what many parents with Facebook accounts already know to be true: the Facebook Memories feature is causing parents to have more kids.

The two-year study was initiated to try to figure out why any couple would purposely have more than two children.

“I mean, generally speaking, parents sometimes have a second kid to keep the first one company,” explained Dr. Holly Wendt, Psychologist at Nunya University. “But we simply couldn’t understand why people would deliberately choose to have more than two. Especially when, according to all the parenting memes, they’re already exhausted, poor, and on the brink of mental breakdowns.”

About 40% of the pregnancies in their study were initiated when a mother saw a Facebook Memory of one of her young children show up in her Facebook feed.

“I was just scrolling while Cayden was watching Caillou, then the Facebook Memory popped up,” said Lindsey Malino. “It was a picture of him at his first birthday, with cake all over his face. It reminded me how fun and sweet it was to have a baby around, so we decided to try for another. Besides, this one likes Caillou, so maybe we should have a backup plan.”

The psychology behind the power of Facebook Memories is still unclear, but it seems to mostly work on women who are already hormonal.

“The Memory I saw was a picture of me holding my youngest girl just after she was born. I started bawling because she just started kindergarten this month. Then I realized maybe I was also bawling because I was ovulating, so we just went with it,” said Brittany Smith.

“Honestly, at first I didn’t want to have a third baby,” said Brittany’s husband Josh. “But Brit promised we could do some really freaky shit… and it had been a while, you know?”

“I think this new baby will be great,” a now-very-pregnant Brittany said, as she rubbed her belly. “I mean, we waited five years for both kids to finally be in school, and now we’ll have to start over with diapers and toddler tantrums, HAHA. But it will probably be fine. OH GOD, I’ve made a terrible mistake, haven’t I?”

More research needs to be done, but Dr. Wendt recommends that you disable the feature if you’re a parent who doesn’t want to have more children.

“This feature should not be taken lightly. Click ‘See fewer posts like this’ to see fewer pictures of your cute babies in your feed. Or make your husband a vasectomy appointment. Ideally both.”

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About the Author

Joanna McClanahan is an editor at MockMom, as well as a Staff Writer and Social Media Manager at Scary Mommy. She also makes jokes and memes as Ramblin’ Mama. Follow her on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram for more hilarity.