By Valerie Glover of The Snarkicist
If you have multiple children, you probably thought about this at some point while they were young. Is there enough love to give all of them equally? Will you end up loving one child more than the other(s)?
I’ve talked to people who categorically assert they have a favorite and have no qualms about it (because hello – some kids are just asshats). And I’ve talked to people who say they have equal and endless love for all their children no matter what kind of asshats they’re being that day – liars! I land somewhere in the middle. Sometimes I hate my kids, sometimes I love them.
While I was pregnant with my second child, my first-born and I were total buddies. We hung out together constantly (mainly because he was like, 3). We liked the same things (mainly because he would cry if I changed the channel from Nick Jr. so yeah, we liked the same things.) We would finish each other’s sentences (maybe that’s a bit of a stretch but I can pretty much almost for sure guarantee we would have finished each other’s sentences if he could have spoken in full sentences at the time.)
So of course I was a little anxious when I was pregnant with the evil seed that could potentially end this love fest. (Okay, that’s kind of harsh. She’s not evil, just slightly stubborn at times. Those times being most of the times…) I was an only child growing up, as were most of my friends, which meant I had zero frame of reference for how parents regarded their multiple children. I was on my own.
Fast-forward to today when I still have moments where I worry that I just might like one kid over the other. When my son won’t let me hug him and acts like the 10-year-old jerk he can be, I decide my daughter must be my favorite. And then when my daughter cries for an hour after I put her to bed because she wants her night light on and then she wants her night light off and then she wants her night light on but plugged into the other wall, I am reminded why my son is my favorite.
But when it comes down to it, they honestly are both my favorite and I love them both equally. They are pretty fucking awesome people and if I had to pick one over the other, my brain would spontaneously explode from that impossible calculation.
Because there is always love to go around. It’s not like it’s the last bag of AB-negative blood on earth and you need to decide if the child who did their homework gets the infusion and the one who refused to eat dinner for the 3rd night in a row is SOL. It is possible to simultaneously love multiple people. I mean, you love your baby mama/daddy (unless they just asked you when dinner will be ready while you’re helping with your kids’ homework after working all day), your friends (at least, the ones who don’t try to sell you their LuLaRoe surplus inventory or their 5 million Jamberry nail wraps), your favorite pair of yoga pants (always), and your dog Hootie (until he eats your favorite pair of yoga pants) all at the same time. You may not love them in exactly the same way, but you don’t love them any less fiercely.
Because after all: Love doesn’t divide. It multiplies. Or some shit…
This post was originally published on The Snarkicist.
About the Author
I’m a mom, but that doesn’t define me. I have a career in high tech, but that was by luck. I love to run, but my body doesn’t. I’m a privileged white female but I try not to be. I live in a conservative hell, but grew up in a liberal heaven. I’m really just here to entertain or offend. Whichever comes first. Follow Valerie on The Snarkicist, on Facebook, and on Twitter.