Chore charts are great for some families—not ours. Instead, I find treating my kids like lab rats and keeping them guessing about whether or not they'll be paid works better. Try it!
Humor Parenting

Ditch the Chore Charts, and Try This Instead

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Chore charts are great for some families—not ours. Instead, I find treating my kids like lab rats and keeping them guessing about whether or not they'll be paid works better. Try it!

By Megan Loden

I have 3 children. Those of us who have been outnumbered by their children, be it a single mom with 2 or more kids or a family with 2 adults and 3 or more kids, know what I’m getting at here. There are many benefits to having multiple kids. We never have to worry about having all our eggs in one basket. I tell my kids all the time that our eggs are evenly distributed between the 3 of them. They can take turns helping us get to our doctors’ appointments when we’re too old to see well enough to drive. They can take turns coming and changing our A/C filters when my husband doesn’t have the balance required to climb 10 feet into the air on a ladder. 

But there are a few downsides. For one thing, the world is just set up for even numbers. Usually 4. All the Groupons are for even numbers, usually 4. Did you win a contest on a radio show? Probably a 4 pack of tickets. What the hell is that all about? Besides that, 1 mom and 3 kids mean I can’t possibly avoid the constant nagging and yelling that is required to get anything done around the house. Or does it?

In 14 years we’ve tried it all. We’ve tried stickers, charts, contests, allowance, flat-out bribery (despite popular opinion, there is a subtle difference between this and allowance), cash, toys, and screen time. I’m sure there are other incentives we have used that I’m forgetting at the moment. Some methods lasted longer than others. But honestly, none of these methods worked with all the kids at the same time. At least not for more than 12 minutes. 

Several years ago I was reminded of a lecture based on a study from a sociology class I took in college. Some of the details, like who performed this study, when and where, are a bit fuzzy because this was years ago, but I remember the gist of it now. If you took a sociology 101 class at ASU many years ago and used “a book,” you might be familiar with this lecture.

So, in this study, there are 3 groups of rats in 3 cages. Each of the cages has a button inside it. The first cage contains Group A rats. Group A rats get a piece of cheese each time they press the button. Group B rats get one sometimes, randomly when they press the button. Group C rats never get any cheese no matter how many times they press the button. Now, Group C is obviously the first group to give up and stop pressing the button.  Surprisingly, group A is the second group to give up. The theory is that these rats begin to take the cheese for granted and the novelty wears off. Group B rats press the button over and over again, seeming to enjoy the mystery of never knowing if this is the time they get the cheese.

In a nutshell, yes. I am absolutely comparing my sweet darling little angels to rats. Group B rats, to be more specific.  My kids do chores without even being asked. Well, sometimes. Not always, but sometimes. I attribute this to my rat insider information. I will come downstairs to find my 10-year-old emptying the dishwasher or one of my girls taking out the trash. Sometimes, just for fun, I ask them, “who wants to vacuum?” and watch them race around, trying to get to it first. Or, more likely, if only 1 gets up and goes for the vacuum and starts moving the dogs’ toys out of the living room, I go for my wallet. 

I’m not talking about making it rain or anything, but a few bucks here and there seems to have the desired effect. I don’t do it every time. It’s my Group B cheese. They don’t know when or if it’s coming. That’s the trick. And it makes them much more cooperative. People think I’m either lying or magical when I tell them that my teenagers basically do what is expected of them without too much nagging. The truth is, it’s manipulation at its finest. Give it a try. You may never have to wipe another mirror or scrub another toilet again. Well, at least not until the kids have their own mirrors and toilets to clean. Good luck!

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About the Author

Megan is a stay at home mom taking motherhood one day (read: glass of wine) at a time. When she isn’t busy embarrassing her teenaged twins with her mere presence, she can be found obsessing over her 10-year-old son or talking to her dogs and cats while her husband answers on their behalf, voices and all. She can be found on Instagram, on Facebook, or on Twitter. Her writing can be found on Twiniversity and on BLUNTmoms.