Lady Gaga once said that “social media is the toilet of the internet,” and we can’t think of a better way to describe the Wild Wild West that has become comment sections on social media platforms since 2020.
Fueled by politics and very high (and unchecked) opinions of ourselves, sanctimommies and Chad from high school, who was known for doing whippets and an obsession with Bam Margera and “backyard wrestling,” now take their job of keyboard warrior-ing very serious.
Because Dick from the HOA and Side-Eye-Sally from the PTA have better things to do – like edging their lawn at 6am on a Sunday or guilting parents at the bake sale into buying their black bean brownies, we thought we’d save them some time.
Here are 29 replies you can copy/paste to save time on being the absolute fucking worst in comment sections.
- ___ is a fucking cock sucking bitch whore (*has biblical quote in profile)
- HOW DO I GET OFCF THIS DUMB PAGR
- Yup, I’m out. Me and my sweet baby angel emojis 👼 will be dis-subscribububbring.
- I really respect your thoughts, but I was hoping to have an informed debate.
- THANKS FOR. SHARING VICTORIA,,,ARE. YOU COMING TO DINNER. SATURDAY? AUNT FRANNIE SAYS. HI,,,
- I don’t need to read the article, I already know I hate it, and you.
- Why can’t not you in your people always complaining when not stand it. (or other such word salad)
- Oh look another mom who’s complaining about her life boo hoo I have 5 dogs and you don’t hear me talking shit 👀👀
- You’re full of EVIL person with a mean heart. You use a lot of bad words. Cuss words came from the Devil !!! You will stand before JUDGMENT DAY one of these days! 🙏
- Stay in your lane. Politics don’t belong on a parenting page.
- Keep drinking the punch 🤡🤡🤡
- Stick to humor, not politics
- Nope, that’s just absolutely ridiculous! These snowflakes Need to get a life! Don’t like it? (move/keep scrolling)
- Do your own research. You’ll see.
- Wake up!
- Why did you even have kids?
- (Insert state here) is a libtard hellscape being run into the ground by (insert politician here). ***Make sure to add this to something totally unrelated, like an article about dog grooming in Pennsylvania.
- You wanna see naked pictures of Scarlet Johansson? Click on this sketchy link: http://malware
- People need to get over it! So sick of this generation of pansies. Who cares if your offended.
- Oh you love illegal immigrants so much WHY DON’T YOU INVITE THEM TO LIVE IN YOUR HOUSE
- Ffs!! This woke cancel culture makes me sick!! This ridiculous snowflake generation we live in is sickening!
- I am thankful so blessed for @drrichardinvestmentstotallylegit for reaching out to me in hard times. With his guidance expertise I turned $5 into $3,000 and can live my dream of shaving cats for cat yarn products in my mom’s basement.
- Do your research!
- Um, no. People need to get over being offended by everything and grow up 🙄
- Wow, that’s just lazy parenting.
- I think it’s time to put these cry babies to bed!!! Seriously take a nap and shut up!
- You’re a rotten. recipe stealin bitch.
Mock Mom Contributors
Thank you so much to our awesome contributors to these comments: 21st Century SAHM, Amy Axelson, An Unfit Parent, Anna Skogerboe Gracia, Crystal Lowery, Healthy Living For Hot Messes, Mommy Cusses, Mommy Dearest Inc., and Witty Otter.