Comedian Louis C.K. whipped out his dick for all of the Comedy Cellar, without their informed consent, last week.
It was all part of his 15-minute surprise performance, the comedian’s first public show since admitting to sexual misconduct last fall, when C.K. was accused by five women of masturbating in front of them and subsequently ruining their careers when they spoke out about the incidents.
When C.K. later confirmed their stories were true, he then issued a statement saying he’d “take a long time to listen.” A long time being 9-10 months before returning to a stage, dick out, for an unsuspecting audience.
“I don’t see the problem here,” said venue manager Nome Douchman. “I mean, it’s not like he was masturbating. I’m pretty sure he didn’t even touch his dick for the entire set. And people gave him a standing ovation! So obviously they liked it!”
Sure, the venue owner is probably trying to prevent a lawsuit, but he’s only one of many men who support the comedian and his comeback:
“How many months does he have to not masturbate in front of people before people are willing to let this go? No, seriously, how long exactly?” – Aziz A.
“It doesn’t seem fair to continue to hold his mistakes against him. He should have the money and power back that he admitted to abusing. For some reason I don’t see any problem with this.” – @gingerballz69, self-proclaimed ‘Twitter Warrior’
“How can we deny a person the right to do what they love? THIS IS AMERICA. We have a thing called the FIRST AMENDMENT and it includes the right not to wear pants.” – Hugh Jass, C.K. fan and current parents’ basement resident
“I don’t think it’s fair to insist he abandon his career just because he already has millions of dollars and ruined the careers of his victims. It’s been almost a year since it happened. Most likely. Not that I would know anything about any of that.” – Chris H.
(Women everywhere couldn’t be reached for response, presumably because no one respected them enough to bother asking them.)
*Note: Comedian Louis C.K. did NOT really whip his dick out in front of the Cellar crowd last week, but he DID make a joke about rape whistles. HAHA, sexual violence jokes from an admitted predator. Hilarious!