By Courtney of Creating Calm Amidst Chaos
A local thirty-something is breaking the silence on her reasoning behind having a child.
“Listen, I love her, really I do,” she says softly as she runs her fingers through her toddler’s sticky clumps of hair, “but I feel like it’s time to confess something.”
She pushes her daughter into a sitting position on her lap, which lasts for a millisecond before she climbs back up again and balances precariously, digging her tiny boots into her mother’s thighs.
“Having a child is truly an introvert’s dream,” the mother yells over her daughter’s screechy, nonsensical babbles. When asked to elaborate, the woman flies into a tangent about how before the baby, she was expected to do unnecessary and inconvenient things, like talk to people.
“Do you realize how many social events I don’t have to attend anymore now that I have her?” The toddler begins to shove a soggy cheese puff into her mother’s mouth. She continues, mumbling, “Acquaintance getting married? — Mmm, sorry, can’t make it. Husband wants me to go out drinking with his work friends? — Ooh, wish I could.”
A second unwanted cheese puff is forcefully bulldozed into Mother’s mouth. She continues anyway, barely audible, “Extended family making Thanksgiving small talk while awkwardly deciding who will clean up the dishes? — Yeah, baby’s hungry, bye!”
The third crammed cheese puff enters. She crunches between words, “Dumb work function that no one actually wants to go to? – Not gonna happen.”
Toddler proceeds to put her entire hand into her mother’s mouth. The mother, unfazed, rambles on, “You know what I’m saying? Some kid’s boring birthday party? – Gotta leave early, nap time, sorry!”
I interject, making sure I’m hearing her correctly. “So you had a child so you can enjoy life more?”
Toddler uses drool-soaked, cheese-puff-covered hand to slap mother across the face. “Exactly.”
About the Author
Hi, I’m Mama. Oh, wait, I have a real name? Let’s start over. I’m Courtney, a Maine girl living in Upstate NY. A teacher turned stay-at-home snack giver. I entered my 30s with a burning desire to give less effs. I live for words, memory foam pillows, and all things breakfast-y. A (very) condensed list of my personal passions: my feisty 18-month-old Finley, coffee of any kind, tiny bookstores, our rescue pup Belle, cheddar cheese & sarcasm. I also enjoy: starting crafty things & rarely finishing them, connecting with friends on a cosmic level, and overanalyzing mostly everything. You can find more from me on my blog, Creating Calm Amidst Chaos, or on Instagram @finleyandbelle.