What do peeing for however long you want, taking thirty minute showers, and not having to share bacon have in common? They’re all pipe dreams when you’re a parent. If you’ve ever dreamed of spending a single night to yourself without anybody hitting, spitting, or shitting, then this hilarious jam […]
Parenting
Sometimes I Dread Picking My Kids Up from School
Okay, here goes… I dread picking up my children from daycare. In fact, I find ways to prolong it. Sick, right? I’m supposed to want to pick them up. I’m supposed to miss them so much from a hard day’s work of teaching that I’m bolting out the door […]
Shower Dance Parties: These are My Jam
[nextpage title=”Page 1″ ] Let me tell you about two things I like. They (in no particular order) are my daughters and shower dance parties. A good starting point seems to be to tell you the reasons that I enjoy my daughters. They are funny, they have sweet smiles, and […]
Redefining Relaxation: Baths and Poo
[nextpage title=”Page 1″ ] By Jill Ginsberg of thejillist.com All three kids are actually in bed by 8 PM. So instead of just flopping into bed, exhausted, I decide to take a bath. About ten solid seconds of sheer bliss transpire before I hear the hinge squeak. It briefly crosses my […]
I Can’t Keep Track of All These New Child-Rearing Rules
[nextpage title=”Page 1″ ] You know how when you first have a baby and all your older relatives — your parents, your aunts and uncles, your grandparents if they’re still living — start rolling their eyes at your instructions to put them “back to sleep” and to not slip rice […]
8 People Who Should Not Give Parenting Advice
I am a magnet for unsolicited parenting advice. Maybe it’s because I have 3 children whom I publicly describe as strong-willed and privately describe as my personal army of poorly-trained demons. Regardless, while some people might be qualified to dish it out, these 8 people definitely are NOT. 1. Clerk […]
Kids: God’s Answer to Talkie DJs Who Won’t Play Music
[nextpage title=”Page 1″ ] I am going to take a minute out of my busy, busy day to help you consider this whole procreating issue. You are welcome. I am only doing my duty as a contributing member of society. I hope you would do the same for me. I […]
When We Were Old: Looking Back on Early Parenting
I don’t want to mulch this Saturday. I know it’s our big to-do for when the weather’s right, but I don’t want to. I want to do things young people with kids do, like a soccer game or dance recital or gymnastics. Like the old days. Like the good old […]