By Marta of Baby Blues & Rock’N’Roll People! Do you even see me? On the street, right next to you, shifting noiselessly along the curb, I am the not-so-young Young Mother pushing that stroller. The one without makeup and with hair that looks like some “force majeure” took over my […]
Humor
8 Things No One Tells You About Your Post-Baby Body
I didn’t know that having a baby would be like an alien encounter, but it’s seriously invasion of the body-snatchers over here. Here are the eight things no one tells you about your post-baby body. 1. Don’t Count Your Chickens Before They Stretch. Toward the end of my pregnancy I […]
There’s Murder in My Uterus. Wait, No, Just My Period After a Tubal
When I was pregnant last, I absolutely, positively, 100 percent guaranteed I would never be doing that shit again. Ever. Coming in at my third pregnancy, and an unexpected one at that, it was by far the worst when it came to morning sickness. On no fewer than eleventy million […]
Top 5 Problems with How Kids Approach Sleep
I don’t pretend to be an expert on the sleeping of children, but I will say based on my observations that I understand why they wake up frequently. The following are the top 5 problems with how kids approach sleep. 1) The first offender is what I call “skunk” position. […]
Why I Wish Skylanders Would Burn in Hell
[nextpage title=”Page 1″ ] By Holley of Chasing Destino For those of you who have not been blessed with children who are addicted to Skylanders, let me provide a brief description of what they are so that you can avoid them at all costs. FAIR WARNING: It will be difficult […]
5 Reasons I Want to Cryogenically Freeze My Son
[nextpage title=”Page 1″ ] When I first entertained the notion of cryogenically freezing someone, I thought, “Hmmm. A person has to be legally dead to be cryogenically frozen. Well, that sucks.” As I continued researching, though, I discovered there is definitely a difference between legally dead and totally dead. Legally […]
If the Body Is a Temple, Then Mine Is One of Doom
I was standing in front of the mirror the other day, gazing at what used to be two gorgeous arrays of copper and bronze. They had grooves in them now, my legs, outlined by thin blue lines, and they were beginning to look more traveled than the pants that Christopher Columbus was buried in. […]
The Longest Chin Hair Theme Song (Fresh Prince Style)
Hey, this is a story all about how My face went rogue-sprouted hair off crown And I’d like to take a minute Just rest right there I’ll tell ya how there came a problem by the name of chin hair As a female born and raised On my legs is […]