By Kelly Arnell of Why did we have to have all these kids anyway? So, your little prince or princess is having a birthday? Hope you have been saving up for this! Be sure to spare no expense. Take out a new credit card or second mortgage on your house […]
By E. R. Catalano of Zoe vs. the Universe Today’s moms are grabbing motherhood by the throat, holding a gun to its head, and blasting its brains out all over the playgrounds and strip malls of America. We know breast is best, infants should sleep on their backs, and to […]
A 35-year-old woman was trapped inside her Stamford residence yesterday by an angry mob. Malia Luft, a mom who lives in the Hartshorne Hills neighborhood, watched as protesters waved signs and demanded her expulsion from the community. “I’m shocked,” Luft told reporters through an open window. “I wish I […]
Hattiesburg resident Rosalie Blackburn reports that the family of avowed Atheists next door are blithely continuing with their lives, seemingly unaware of the fiery torment they are destined to experience when Christ returns to rule on Earth. “It’s mind-boggling,” says Blackburn, who tracks the family’s daily activities through her […]
Mom, I know I don’t say it often enough, but thank you for turning to Maury to clear up the mystery of my paternity. If you hadn’t, we wouldn’t know that I was really Dad’s, and we also wouldn’t have that precious video recording preserving our family’s history. It’s […]
By Joelle Wisler of Running From Mountain Lions It was 11:00 a.m. at Shady Oaks Playground when parents Madelyn and Patrick Johnson fearfully told their 3-year-old daughter, Pearl, that it was time to go home. “It was the strangest thing,” Patrick said. “She just took my hand and said ‘OK!’ in […]
By Helene Wingens of Figuring it out… A local woman was dragged kicking and screaming from her home yesterday. The woman, Pam (not her real name) became heavily involved in social media a few months ago when she began to blog. What began as a hobby quickly turned into something […]
By Lisa Carmody Doiron of Momologues A long-haired guinea pig living in a pet store in Queens, NY, is tired of being mistaken for business man, TV personality, and President Donald Trump. “I’ve been mistaken for lots of famous people on account of my illustrious golden locks,” stated the unnamed guinea […]