By Guy G. Walker “Who is that weird-looking lady, Dad?” my 9-year-old son Ronnie asked me. Of course, I had to sigh before I answered. He was watching the damn TV again instead of playing sports outside like I told him. Like a boy is supposed to. The damn cleaning lady had left it on […]
MockMom
Trendspotting! Dad Bods Still Hot, Mom Bods Still Gross
By Joanna McClanahan of Ramblin’ Mama From Contouring to Delayed Vaccination Schedules, here’s a look at what’s hot and what’s not this week: IN: Dad bods. Chubby is still chic for dads. Who needs a six-pack on a man when you can have the whole keg? Amirite, ladies? OUT: Mom bods. Yuck. Unless moms show […]
New Mom Can’t Find Word To Describe Her Emotions on Wheel Of Feelings
By E.R. Catalano Cleveland, Ohio — Since Brie Jennings, 34, gave birth to her daughter six months ago, it has been a daily struggle to find one word to encapsulate her feelings. “Each moment has been filled with elation, then fear, then frustration, followed by overwhelming loneliness, then a kind of dreadful joy,” Ms. Jennings […]
American Women Outraged Over Target’s ‘Trophy’ Shirt, Actual Trophy Wives Unfazed
By Jeremy McKeen of Nerdy Dad Shirt SHENZHEN, CHINA—Foxconn workers, makers of Target’s new “Trophy” shirt for women, are baffled by the uproar by Americans over the notion that women wouldn’t buy a shirt with such a message. “Two of our biggest sellers are ‘Bros Over Hos’ and ‘Fuck Bitches, Get Money,’ and these Americans are upset […]
Another Celebrity Couple Divorces, Women Everywhere Take It Personally
By Joanna McClanahan of Ramblin’ Mama Country singer Blake Shelton has filed for divorce from another country singer after four years of marriage. This divorce is reportedly the worst thing to happen to Oklahoma since fracking. “First Heidi Klum and Seal, then Ben and Jen, now this?!” said apparent relationship expert Jen Simmons. “I just […]
Residents Agree with Marcy’s Diner That Screaming Kids Are the Worst, Instead Outraged by Neglect of Basic Grammar
By Melissa Coble of An Unfit Parent After the breaking news of a crying child at Marcy’s Diner here in Portland yesterday, we sent our reporter, Tom Richardson, out into the streets to get a reaction from the locals. Many had not heard about the crying child, or the subsequent post from the owner of the […]
It Can Happen to You: How Marriage Equality Made My Family Gay
This is difficult for me to talk about. But as a red-blooded American and champion for traditional family values, I believe it is my duty. So here goes. Marriage equality made my family gay. And it can happen to you. It starts out innocently enough. One minute, your spouse and you are dutifully strumming each […]
Study Shows People Thankful When Belittled By Friends And Family
By Lola Lolita A recent study of one found that people tend to feel thankful toward friends and family when they are belittled, particularly on social media. According to experts, people feel the most gratitude when friends and family accuse them of things they did not do or intend, citing an increase in gratitude when […]