By Lisa Carmody Doiron of Momologues This just in: The FDA approved a vaccine yesterday in an effort to wipe out a horrendous condition known as Parentiitus Selfrightulosis (or PS for short). “PS is an insidious disease taking over the parenting community,” stated Public Health Nurse, Wanda Purgit. “Often times, parents don’t even realize they have […]
MockMom
How Gwyneth Paltrow Prepares for Easter
By Crystal Lowery of Creepy Ginger Kid Easter is almost here, and the Paltrow household is gearing up for some family fun. Moses and Apple have already been measured for their hand-tailored pastel rompers made with 100% organic silk from wild larvae in the Hunan forests of China. This year, I’ve decided to take a break from […]
Fans in Shock After Adele Announces All Her Songs Are About Pap Smears
By Samantha Wassel of Between the Monkey Bars Thousands of Adele fans are in shock this week after the renowned pop sensation took to Twitter to make what most are calling a “heart-shattering” announcement. The recording artist—who’s become known for her depressing love ballads and sob-inducing lyrics—crushed the probably-already-broken hearts of fans everywhere with a single tweet, […]
Husbands Who Do Dishes Get More BJs, Says Science
By Joanna McClanahan of Ramblin’ Mama A recent study revealed that married men who help around the house are more likely to receive consistent oral gratification from their partners. As Dan Steele, a representative for HEADD (Husbands Enduring Affection Deficit Disorder), said, “The findings are staggering.” A breakdown of the HEADD-sponsored study includes the following […]
Mother of Twins Literally Doesn’t Know How She Does It
By Samantha Wassel of Between the Monkey Bars It’s not uncommon for a mother of twins to face an onslaught of annoying questions after she gives birth: “What’s it like having twins?” “Did you have a C-section?” “Do twins run in your family?” “How much weight did you gain?” “Are you going to have them audition for […]
Toddler Doing “Just Fine” After Ingesting Bite of Crust
By Samantha Wassel of Between the Monkey Bars A 3-year-old boy in Wheaton, IL is reportedly in good health after accidentally ingesting an entire bite of the crust his mom neglected to cut off his peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Finn and Nicki Dyner were allegedly enjoying their regular afternoon routine of PBJ and Ellen when the […]
Local PTA Meeting Breaks Into Fight Over Box Tops
By Melanie Madamba of TheNotsoSuperMom What started as a calm, businesslike PTA meeting took a terrible turn last Wednesday evening at the Sherman P. Woods Elementary school in South Lower East Township. The details haven’t been fully confirmed, but it appears there was some sort of incident between two of the members regarding the collection of Box […]
QUIZ: Which Actress Named Jennifer Should You Consult for Vaccination Advice?
By Crystal Lowery of Creepy Ginger Kid 1. What is your most striking feature? A) Hair B) Lips C) Booty D) Humongous fake boobs 2. If you were a television show, what would you be? A) Friends B) Alias C) American Idol D) The View 3. Press “shuffle” on your iTunes. Which song comes up? A) “I’ll […]