“Cottonelle: We’re here to help you fulfill all your vandalism needs!” the ad proclaims. “Try our mega rolls for the ultra shenaniganning experience!”
MockMom
The Best Lipstick Shades That Say “I Used to Be Good At Blowies!”
That doesn’t mean that there’s not still a sexy spark deep within my epiglottis that longs for the good old days of dating and fellating.
Quick and Easy Dinner Recipes So You Can Fake Your Own Death and Fly to Fiji
Who has time to work all day, clean up after kids, do the housework, rock in the corner and cry, make some impromptu Amazon purchases in the false hope that they’ll somehow restore purpose to your life, consider faking your own death and flying to Fiji, and then cook dinner on top of it all?
I Got Kicked Out of Pole-Dancing Class Because My Spontaneous Orgasms Were Too Disruptive
I guess I’m going to have to find another way to get my fitness on while simultaneously expressing my inner sexy beast.
Local Church Lobbies to Shut Down Hot Yoga Classes for Being “Too Provocative”
These brothel-like establishments are luring women in with empty promises of relaxation, fitness, and ‘escape’ time
Lego Slammed for Promoting Unrealistic Body Image
The popular toy production company, known for its interlocking bricks and iconic “minifigures,” is being slammed for creating a “toxic environment for children”
I’m Mad About Mr. Potato Head Because I’m Weirdly Invested In Vegetable Genders!
I’ve added a pair of truck nuts to him. Because as a patriot, I think we need to stop not sexualizing children’s toys! THIS ARGUMENT ACTUALLY MAKES SENSE IN MY HEAD!
Middle-aged Woman, 50, Reported Missing in Forever 21
The sales associate suggested that mall security guards check Eddie Bauer and Pottery Barn. “Or there are these stores called Talbot’s or Chico’s. That’s where my grandma shops.”