By Alison Huff of Please Stop Putting Crackers Down My Shirt BERLIN CENTER, OHIO—Earlier this morning, 39-year-old Emma Snodgrass, mother of two tween daughters, awoke to silence in her home. “It was eerie,” Snodgrass recalled. “At first, I thought I was still asleep and dreaming. When I realized I was awake, […]
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Christians Shocked by Scientists’ Portrayal of Jesus as Totally Unf–able
By Emily Spence of Sweet n’ Sour Mom At the end of 2015, scientists uncovered something amazing about Jesus Christ. After thoroughly researching as many facts as they had available, a group of scientists are saying they finally know what the Messiah looked like. One of these researchers says of the discovery, […]
Zuckerberg Vaccinates Daughter, Flips The Bird At Artism Warnings
By Alison Huff of Please Stop Putting Crackers Down My Shirt PALO ALTO, CA — Despite countless warnings that link childhood vaccinations with artism, Mark Zuckerberg, the tech genius and billionaire smartypants who owns Facebook, subjected his innocent, 2-month-old daughter to vaccines earlier this month. Since we hid in the bushes […]
Woman Proposes to Her Antidepressant in Area Restaurant
Amanda Cooper, age 37, of Pearland, Texas, surprised local restaurant patrons as she proposed to her Lexapro. “They say that all antidepressants work the same, but I’m convinced that Lexapro is really special. We were made for each other,” Cooper told reporters. “It was so romantic the way she […]
How to Rock a Dress Your Child Has Just Sh*t On
As mothers, we have all been shit on. How many of us have had that moment of panic when we’re out shopping with friends and our child has a blowout and we’ve only brought a change of clothes for the child? How many of us, in a hurry to get […]
Yelp Review for William Howard Taft Middle School Cafeteria
By Cassandra of TheNextDelusion Yelp! Reviews William Howard Taft Middle School Cafeteria Lunch, Hours: 10:30am-1:00pm Reviewed by Cassandra D., 8th Grade Avoid the Taft Caf. if at all possible! The staff appears disinterested at best and are always looking down on the patrons (well at least the 6th graders). The hostesses […]
Pet Owners Under Fire for Not Giving Animals Enough Household Responsibility
By Jill Morgenstern of Do Try This at Home Animal rights activists gathered yesterday afternoon on the busy corner of Westheimer and Post Oak in order to protest what they say is a deplorable lack of caring and concern from local pet owners. “We’re basically seeing the trickle down effect of helicopter […]
Teen Trends: The Kim Kardashian Butt Challenge
By Abby Byrd of Little Miss Perfect Experts are warning parents to be on the lookout for the latest dangerous teen trend, the Kim Kardashian Butt Challenge. What Is It? Most parents have heard about the Kylie Jenner Lip Challenge, in which teens attempt to make their lips swell by […]