By Gina Ballentine At 2:37 pm on Friday, Mrs. Elizabeth “Liz” Stewart and Mrs. Staci Lee were arrested for speeding, reckless endangerment, and DUI (to be confirmed). “I was walking to the street to assist with directing traffic at the school pick-up line and heard tires squealing and smelled burnt […]
MockMom
10 Cool Ideas for Baby’s First Tat
By Melissa Janisin of goodnessmadness.com Ahhhh, a baby’s milestones. It is truly awe-inspiring, isn’t it? Watching as baby smiles at you for the first time, takes their first steps, tumbles down their first set of stairs at the un-baby-proofed home of a friend whose children have outgrown the baby gates. Here at […]
Father Repeats Himself After Promising Not To
By Melissa Janisin of goodnessmadness.com In what his wife calls a “totally typical” turn of events, a Pennsylvania father told his children something again after announcing that he would not tell them that thing again under any circumstances. Roger Ritter, 45, does this at least once a day and sometimes twice, according […]
Local School District Considers Structuring Classrooms by Weight
By Michelle Poston Combs of Rubber Shoes In Hell The Snooterson School District is considering a request by a local group of concerned mothers to separate students by weight. Alyce Bryson, mother of two Helmsley Elementary students, said, “It’s not fair to our children to expect them to be bombarded […]
Woman Shaves in Winter, Husband Fears the Worst
Wintertown, Minnesota–A hair raising tale has made a local man fear that his wife has been finding love outside their home. A local woman by the name of Robyn was found at hot yoga yesterday with cleanly shaven legs. Patrons looked at her left hand and discovered that she was, […]
Wine That Pairs Best with Your Kid’s Epic Meltdowns
By Ambrosia Brody of Random Aspects of (My) Life Wine pairs nicely with everything from filet mignon to grilled salmon and pasta dishes to chicken fingers. Did you know a nice Pinot Noir brings out the cheesiness of macaroni and cheese? Or that the undertones of a refrigerated bottle of Rose can […]
Baby Crawl-A-Thon Doping Controversy Divides Community
By Liv of livebysurprise.com A prestigious baby race in Minnesota has caused outrage after a 7-month-old girl was disqualified for “scooting and not crawling.” Test results received after the trophy was awarded revealed that the performance enhancing drug Gripe Water (referred to by users as “The Stuff”) was also used to […]
Teen Trend Alert: Putting a Whole Godd**n Orange in Your Mouth
Experts are warning parents to be on the lookout for the latest dangerous teen trend known as Putting a Whole Goddamn Orange In Your Mouth. “Basically, teens are challenging each other to put a whole goddamn orange in their mouths,” said Dr. Carol Black, an emergency room physician who […]