By Alison Huff of Please Stop Putting Crackers Down My Shirt *In case you couldn’t tell, these are not real Kanye West tweets. ***** About the Author Mother of Doom and Destruction, Alison Huff is a writer who actually lives on a road named Mock; a move she felt was kismet. […]
By Samantha Wassel of Between the Monkey Bars For the past three months, a small town in northern New Hampshire has been operating under a proposed “new and improved alphabet” that may eventually be implemented nationwide, according to several Congressional and local government sources in the area. Pat C. Greene, mayor of […]
By Kristine Laco of Mum Revised When area husband Tom Fewlery woke up this morning, he got the shock of his life. “My wife is away for work, which is fortunate. I would hate to have subjected her to this,” Mr. Fewlery shook off his obvious distress. What upset him? Early […]
By Samantha Wassel of Between the Monkey Bars A 42-year-old woman received the shock of a lifetime—or, rather, the afterlifetime—when she mixed her late mother’s ashes with a combination of essential oils and then watched her rise from the dead. “I was just trying to freshen her up a bit,” says Nancy […]
By Kelly Hoover of Mommy Dearest, Inc. Hello Mommies, I’d like to discuss a topic near and dear to every woman’s heart: breastfeeding. Ah, just typing the word makes me lactate with joy! At this point, you’d have to be living under a very large rock to think that any […]
By Crystal Lowery of Creepy Ginger Kid SALEM, OR–The Oregon Toddlers Union announced a poop strike this morning. Members (who were previously potty trained) will undergo an en masse bowel-movement regression, refusing to deposit their stool into the toilet. They plan to clench daytime urges to defecate and to withhold fecal matter […]
By Samantha Wassel of Between the Monkey Bars An Iowa mother of three has started a petition to change the lyrics of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse’s popular ending number to something that doesn’t “support animal cruelty” or “encourage toxic eating habits.” Kayla Verr says she is “fed up” (but, “Oh God, not literally; […]
When Jenny Evans was pregnant, she vowed she would never co-sleep. “I knew all the research about bed sharing and SIDS, so I just decided to do the right thing and put my son in a crib from day one,” stated Evans. But two weeks into parenthood, the nights […]