By Mandi Em of Healthy Living for Hot Messes

When Covid-19 hit, I went through the phases just like everyone else. Fear, denial, realization… making my own sourdough starter?

Now, I’m a modern kinda bitch but I have to say there’s nothing quite like a global pandemic to make me reach in real deep and slap five with my inner Laura Ingalls Wilder. When life has turned into a massive dystopian shitshow, what better time than to learn to bake my own bread.

At first I was like, hey, this is kinda fucked up. Leaving out flour and water to tempt airborne particles into setting up a colony in my adorable glass mason jar seems like just the kind of nasty, dirty shit that you should probably be shying away from in a health crisis. That being said, everyone on Facebook was doing it so I figured it must have some merit.

After successfully making a starter I moved on to making my own cheese. Don’t ask me for the details because I literally don’t even know what day of the week it is. I am hanging on by a fucking thread here.

I quickly noticed that there is not a single problem in life that can’t be soothed by doing old-timey shit. Husband won’t help around the house? Buy some chickens. Kids fucking around on Zoom when they should be homeschooling? Scatter some seeds on the boulevard. President is a dangerous bloated shitbag? Sacrifice an ox and plead with the entire pantheon of old Gods to deliver you from evil.

From now on, when and IF this ever ends, I have found a new form of self-care that can help me deal with the problems that plague us all. So if you see me weaving a goddamn loom or delivering a baby horse with my bare hands, mind ya business.

*****

About the Author

Mandi Em is the content creator for Healthy Living for Hot Messes, a humorous wellness and adulting blog. Mandi can usually be found whining about her kids on Twitter and posting pictures of her food and nonsense on Instagram, and Facebook.