The internet is all abuzz today after Donald Trump got busted for having fake Time Magazine covers of himself displayed at his golf courses. Um, yeah. We’re totally not surprised by this. If it walks like a narcissist and talks like a narcissist and grabs pussy like a narcissist–you know the rest. […]
Author: Nikki Morris
Charmin Made a Public Poop-Mobile and We Have So Many Thoughts
Code Brown, everyone, the shit has hit the fan(belt). Popular toilet paper company, Charmin, has been traveling around NYC today with “Van-Go” (because I guess the name “Dump Truck” was taken). It’s a portable bathroom that encourages users to defecate inside it. But don’t think you can just hail the Van-Go like […]
Mattel Introduces Manbun Ken and Oh God, I Hate Him So Much Already
This just in! Mattel has announced it will soon be selling 15 updated versions of Barbie’s boyfriend, Ken. The new line of dolls will introduce a more diverse collection of fellas to include various skin tones and body types. All this to go along with the updated adaptation Barbie has undergone in […]
Is a TV Network Capable of Sexual Assault? This Bachelor Fan Says Yes
Mondays are hard. That’s why millions of us tune into mindless shows like Bachelor in Paradise to wash away our Monday Blues. If you don’t know about Bachelor in Paradise, congratulations–you have lived a smut-free existence thus far. Allow me to enlighten you. Bachelor in Paradise (or BIP for short) […]
White Jesus Joins Mormon Couple’s Engagement Photos and the Internet Comments Are Everything
Kelsy Barrett of Utah owns Lightweave Photography, a Mormon company specializing in photographing White Jesus as a prop in family portraits. I’m going to go out on a limb here and suggest Lightweave could have given Jesus a light weave to make him more believable (and be-weavable–sorry, I couldn’t help myself). […]
Tainted Buffet Leads to On-Stage Diarrhea Fest at Jacksonville Strip Club
This just in–A Jacksonville strip club relived the barfing scene in Stand By Me, except with projectile diarrhea. So here’s the poop scoop: [adsanity id=”35664″ align=”aligncenter”/] On Friday, a Jacksonville strip club was offering a free buffet, from which both dancers and patrons filled themselves with ribs, chicken, and deep-fried […]
Move Over, Joe-Bama, There’s a New Bromance in Town
Guys, I love me some Joe Biden/Barak Obama bromance memes. I miss those two so much. It has been a strange and difficult political year. First the alt-right UKIP party led Great Britain into Brexit, then Donald Trump became the US president, and then humanity collectively sighed, “What the actual fuck […]
Study Shows Working Moms Spend More Time on Childcare Than Stay-at-Home Dads
Research from the Australian Institute of Family Studies says stay-at-home dads spend less time on childcare than their working partners. According to the study, SAHDs put in 19 hours per week in childcare, while working moms take on 21 hours of childcare. The study also found that men who stay […]