It’s hard. And uncomfortable. And it would be better for everyone if babies really did get dropped off on our doorstep by a giant bird carrying a nature-made baby sling. When I became pregnant with my 2nd, I started thinking about all the horrors of the 1st, and I panicked. […]
Author: Lola Lolita
Hello. My name is Mrs. Sammich, and I have an anger problem.
It’s more like a feelings problem, really. Whereas normal people get sad, I get blubbering-bucket-of-tears sad. Whereas normal people get worried, I get certain-an-airplane-toilet-is-going-to-come-crashing-through-the-roof-and-kill-us-all-repeatedly worried. Whereas normal people get angry, I get blood-pressure-spikingly-and-extremity-tremblingly angry. I’d say I’m bipolar (isn’t that when people get super manic and then super depressed and […]
I can’t tell if my car wants me to play the trumpet or if there’s something wrong with my honker.
So as I was driving home this evening, one of the warning doohickeys on my car dashboard lit up and started dinging, indicating something was amiss. This normally wouldn’t be a big deal (I’ve been known to treat those things as suggestions rather than emergency alerts in the past), except […]
The Non-Domestic Mom’s Guide to Hosting a Birthday Party
Let’s say you’ve been taking Junior to a lot of peers’ birthday parties lately. They could be 4th birthday parties. Maybe 5th. Maybe even 6th, 7th, or 8th. Eventually, Junior’s going to ask for or expect his/her own birthday party. You could say no, of course, but then you’d be […]
Dear Newly Inducted Special Needs Mom
I see you. And I don’t mean I see you see you (though I do physically see you). I mean I see inside you — I see the storm that’s tearing your soul apart, bit by unimaginable bit. I can see you because I am you. Not now you, of […]
Today’s the Day I Ran Out of Give-a-Effs
It’s been a long time coming, but today officially marks the day I ran out of give-a-fucks. I’m not really sure what this means for me personally and professionally in the coming weeks. Let’s hope it doesn’t mean murder. Incident #1 I spent my fourth to last give-a-fuck this morning […]
Places I’d Rather Sleep Than The Cabin I Stayed In On Memorial Day
Each year on Memorial Day, my family travels to a state park where we rent a room at the inn or a cabin and then partake in things like cooking out, hiking, swimming, and generally enjoying nature. And in so doing, we expect to enjoy ourselves. I mean, we are spending […]
My Son Likes My Husband More Than Me
And that makes me sad. This is nothing new, mind you. Since the moment I went back to work (I had favorite locked down up until that point), I’ve been a second thought. A person to turn to when all other avenues have been exhausted. Practically a stranger. My husband […]