Hey, teachers! Making New Year’s resolutions for your personal lives? How about making some for your professional lives with these 35 teacher resolutions to ring in the new year? As a teacher this year, I resolve: 1. To not roll my eyes during pointless inservices and staff meetings. 2. To […]
My mother-in-law bought our middle son a bath baby because he won’t stop manhandling his real baby brother. For those of you who have no idea what a bath baby is, it’s a baby that you can play with in the bath. Supposedly. She thought maybe our son could direct […]
One objection to marriage equality that I encounter frequently is the argument that allowing gay and lesbian couples to marry damages family institutions. First, there’s the assertion that marriage equality somehow fucks up existing marriages. I don’t get this. How does whom another person chooses to marry affect one’s own […]
It’s that holly, jolly, jiggly, wiggly time of year, y’all! Time for lights and spiked eggnog and extended family and Jesus and eating your feelings. It’s the most wonderful time of year! Which is why I don’t understand why some people have got to be hatin’ on my man, Kris Kringle. […]
The interwebs is an amazing place. It has completely redefined how we communicate. It has transformed the way the news works and has made everyday people producers and transmitters of knowledge. And it has blessed us with YouTube videos of cats doing cat shit and people also doing cat shit […]
Looking for the perfect gift for that white elephant party you’ve got coming up? Or maybe you’re just in the market for a little something that’ll elicit two GUFFAWS and a HOOT on Christmas morning. Whatever your pleasure, check out my top Amazon* gag gift choices plus one totally serious […]
…that are as plump as juicy peaches instead of as saggy as bags of rotten cottage cheese. Among other things. As our kids prepare their wishlists for Santa, I’m preparing a wishlist of my own, and it goes a little something like this. All I want for Christmas is: For […]
I hate Black Friday shopping. I’ve been exactly once, and I would rather have my lady bits scoured with a rusty Brillo pad than endure that shit again. For one, there are the people. Furthermore, there are the people. Finally, the fucking people. Too many people in one place willing […]