By Darla Halyk of NewWorldMom
When do we wake up? When do we see the hate in our world and decide enough is enough? When do we start taking all of this hateful rhetoric seriously? When do we as human beings decide to start being better to each other? When does humanity finally become a human trait?
At a restaurant, I overhear two men sitting at the table next to me. A joke full of sexism and racism is audibly laughed over. They immediately high-five each other, proud of their quick wit and offensive humor.
My stomach drops as if I’m on a roller coaster.
Two tables over an attractive couple bow their heads. I watch as the woman’s face instantly turns a shade of red. I wonder what emotions are rushing through her veins, causing her body to react in such away. I recognize the unsavory joke is the root of her sadness, her anger. I see it in her eyes. The couple continues to eat their meal and enjoy their evening, shaking it off as a daily occurrence, like traffic or a line-up at their favorite coffee shop. As if it is standard to hear racial slurs and sexist banter while enjoying a splendidly plated meal.
Sadly, it is.
My heart hurts.
Two men walk past me on the street. Their eyes envelop me. A wave of fear rushes over me with the power of an ocean’s tide. It’s dark. My keys are carefully placed between each of my fingers as I step toward my car. Without trepidation, the two men boast of their ability to please me. Joking to one another who could do it better, and of course, how much I would like it. The power and depth of their voices rattle through to my core. Fear engulfs me. I open the door to my car, reach the safety of my seat and lock the doors. Within minutes I forget about the incident as if it is natural to feel fear while walking to my car.
Sadly, it is.
My heart hurts.
A woman standing in the grocery store reaches for a bag of spice. It’s on the top shelf in the flavors of the world aisle. The box falls to the floor. As I lean down to help her pick it up, I hear two teenage boys joke. Each of them mocking her choice of spice and its commonality to her race. As they giggle their way down the aisle, joking and mimicking her accent, I note the hurt in her eyes. I find myself apologizing for their behavior while we both fumble to clean up the mess. She tells me it’s okay, she’s used to it. We both go on with our shopping as if it’s as normal as the day is long to be ridiculed for the way you speak.
Sadly, it is.
My heart hurts.
When will we wake up?
The jokes need to stop.
We need to call people out who proclaim “it’s just a joke” because this shit ain’t funny anymore. (It never was, Archie Bunker.) The mentality is we are too politically correct. The world has become soft and we should be able to laugh at jokes because they are funny.
Some jokes are funny, some are offensive, and some are downright scary.
It’s not funny to feel inferior because of your color, race, sexual orientation, religion, or … anything. It’s not humorous to fear walking to your car. It’s not hilarious to joke that a person of another color is less than you.
Before burning me at the “get a sense of humor” stake, listen. I love to laugh. It’s how my soul settles. It clears out the hurt. However, I do not enjoy laughing at the ignorance of racism, sexism or any other ism that crushes a person’s will to live on this planet. It’s not funny that I fear walking to my car at night. It’s not amusing that a couple of another color at a restaurant has to listen to ignorant racial slurs while enjoying an evening out. Furthermore, it certainly should not feel normal. Routine.
I’m fucking tired of listening to people advise me to “get over it, it was a joke.” It’s not funny to feel degradation. Ever. That’s what happens when we belittle these types of jokes. They become common place. They fester. They hurt. They are the actuality of the fear of our diversity. And what’s worse, we aren’t doing anything to stop it. We are being told to get over it. To be less woke and to take a joke.
Our children are listening. There is something structurally wrong with a society that would rather digress than improve the way we teach our children to accept one another. We are the only ones who can change this. We must stop pretending a joke is just a joke when it tears a person down.
There is a tremendous contrast amidst laughing at our differences as human beings on a planet full of diverse people and shaming people for being different. Wake up. We are all different from one another.
Each. Of. Us. Is. Different. That’s the beauty of this world.
No one human is superior. It’s not funny, and it absolutely isn’t a joke to believe otherwise.
This post was originally published on NewWorldMom.
*********
About the Author
Darla Halyk is the mom of a teenage boy and girl. She studied Business Management at Simon Fraser University. Soon after receiving her degree, she married and quickly got pregnant with her first child. Deciding to stay home with her kids instead of returning to the workforce after the birth of her son, she become an SAHM, but not your average one. The gig lasted until the kids were school-aged, and her marriage ended in divorce. Darla has enjoyed writing since she was old enough to hold a pen to paper. Currently, she writes for her blog at NewWorldMom — bringing a fresh, honest and humorous take on parenting, women’s issues, relationships, divorce, and life, in general. Follow her on Facebook and Twitter.