The world of wine drinking just got a whole lot more interesting for stressed-out moms, ladies on a much-needed girls’ night, and wine lovers in general. In a video posted on The Independent Facebook page, viewers were treated to the orgasmic (and potentially alcoholism-inducing) titillation of the Guzzle Buddy, a wine glass that screws directly into a bottle of wine so drinkers can enjoy its fermented goodness without having to deal with the pesky and time-consuming nonsense that is refilling the glass.
I personally already have a wine glass big enough to hold an entire bottle, something I thought was God’s gift to haggard ladies everywhere when I received it as a present. But I was wrong. That wine glass is cool and all, but a glass that attaches directly to the bottle itself? Pshht. No contest.
Gone are the days of feeling trashy about popping that cork and chug-a-lugging, lips planted firmly against the bottle’s opening. Now we can do the same thing, but with class.
According to The Wine Institute, 2015 boasted the consumption of 913 million gallons of wine by American consumers alone. That’s 779 million total table wine gallons, or roughly 2.83 gallons of wine per person. THAT’S A WHOLE LOTTA WINE. And compared to 2014’s data, which reports 886 million gallons of wine consumed by American drinkers alone, the statistics suggest wine consumption is on the rise.
And why not?
For me, and clearly others across the U.S., wine is the perfect beverage. It’s diverse in that consumers can select from a wide range of tastes, from light and sweet to full-bodied and dry. It’s satisfying in that it offers the unmistakable buzz only alcohol can deliver while not being too filling. And it’s elegant. It’s how posh people get shit-canned, after all.
In all seriousness, though, there is no doubt that wine is definitely a popular choice when it comes time to imbibe. Whether it’s out at a restaurant or in the comforts of one’s own home, it’s fairly common for people to indulge in a glass or two (or eight) at social gatherings and even alone after a long day.
And Guzzle Buddy is taking our interest in this delectable nectar of the gods all the way to the bank.
For my part, I’ll be not-so-secretly coveting this wine lovers’ delight, if for nothing else but its novelty. (Oh, who am I kidding? I’m totally adding that shit to my holiday wishlist and breaking that puppy in the second I open it.)
Here’s to a more interesting (and undoubtedly less responsible) way to enjoy our favorite beverage, fellow winos. Cheers!